HorrO's Gory Reviews

  Fairy tales are something that can be told over and over. Some stay true to the original tale, while others take on their own identity. It seems Hollywood is going after fairy tales again with examples like last year’s “Snow White and the Huntsman,” and the upcoming “Jack the Giant Slayer.” Many of you know how well Snow White turned out, and I’m not yet sure if I’ll be seeing Jack. While not expecting much from the most recent fairy tale movie “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters,” I have to say I was pleasantly surprised.   As many people know, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) are siblings who are left alone in the forest. While trying to find their way back to civilization, they stumble upon a house made of candy. Of course being children, they are drawn to it, go inside, but unfortunately find themselves captured by a witch. However, they are able to kill the witch, and escape. And now comes the change in this tale. They grow up to become witch hunters.

  While some people’s expectations for “Mama” are high, I tried not to let my expectations get too high. Why? Well, mostly because I still remember the last Guillermo del Toro movie I saw “Don't Be Afraid of the Dark." Lets just say I wasn’t impressed. His movies are usually well done, but they just seem to come up short of my expectations. So did Guillermo del Toro come up short again?   The title might be “Mama,” but it’s Papa that gets this story started. He suffers some kind of emotional breakdown, kills some of his fellow co-workers and wife, and tries to run away with his two daughters, Victoria (Megan Charpentier), and Lilly (Isabelle Nelisse). He accidentally drives the car off the side of a mountain, but luckily everyone survives. Soon after, they find shelter in a small cabin in the woods. Unknown to them, something already has taken shelter there, and will later follow the girls back to civilization.   Audiences will clearly see a Guillermo del Toro sty

Summary: When it comes to movies Dougie and Robbo know what they like. And there is nothing they like more than a night in watching one of Big Al’s latest downloads - especially if it’s a horror film featuring five babes alone in a big house. Big Al is the neighborhood bootlegger and they depend on him for a constant diet of blood, gore and nudity and whatever else he thinks will satisfy their craving. They always expect surprises. Will his latest offering, the horror film Sacrificed, live up to their expectations?   “The Download Horror” is a recent version of the show ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000.’ For those that aren’t familiar with that show, basically a guy and his two robot companions would sit in a theater and comment, criticize, and make fun of a movie. So with this review of “The Download Horror,” I’ll basically be reviewing the movie that Dougie and Robbo are watching, and how well the guys did as film critics.   The film they are watching is call

   There have been some good horror comedies over the past few years. However, there has been a shortage of quality spoofs of horror movies. The last one I saw was “Vampires Suck,” and um yea… it sucked. This year audiences will get two big ones, “Scary Movie 5,” and “A Haunted House.” “Scary Movie 5” will hit theaters later this year, so first up is “A Haunted House.”   A young couple, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans), and Kisha (Essence Atkins) are taking their relationship to the next level by moving in together. Not long after settling in, strange things start happening, and they realize their house might be haunted. Eventually Kisha becomes possessed, and Malcolm fights the urge to leave her and instead tries to save her.   Does that sound somewhat familiar? Well, this movie primarily follows the “Paranormal Activity” (PA) storyline. It even takes a few shots at the PA sequels. While Malcolm does film everything, the movie never truly feels like a typical found footage film.

   Last year horror fans rang in the New Year with “The Devil Inside.” I ended 2012 making it the worst horror movie of the year. Enter 2013 and the return of an old friend… Leatherface. Who better to bring a little buzz to the New Year? Will it be enough buzz to keep “Texas Chainsaw 3D” off my list of worst horror movies of 2013?   Heather (Alexandra Daddario) and her friends Nikki (Tania Raymonde), Ryan (Trey Songz), and Kenny (Keram Malicki-Sanchez) are planning a trip to New Orleans. However, those plans change after Heather learns that she has inherited a house in Texas from her grandmother. This peaks her curiosity, as she never knew she had a grandmother in Texas. So her friends, and herself get in a van with plans to stop in Texas before going to New Orleans. Unfortunately for them, Texas is about as far as they are going to get.   There is actually more to this story, as the movie opens with a flashback to the events of the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” The