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Friday, January 22, 2010

LEGION REVIEW





  The end of the world is coming yet again! Ok, maybe not the end of the world, just the end of mankind. Does that make it easier to swallow? Probably not! God and his angels will save us right? No, actually they are the ones that want the end of mankind. Pretty depressing no? Well, that was what mankind faced in Legion.
  Out in a remote desert lies a small diner, run by a father and his son. It was so remote that it only needed two other employees to serve the handful of people that probably came in there every other day. One of those employees, Charlie, was pregnant with a child she was not sure she even wanted. The child might not have seemed important to her, but its birth quickly became important for the survival of mankind. See, apparently God had lost faith in mankind (isn’t it usually the other way around), and he sent angels down from heaven to stop the birth of this child. In turn, that would somehow be the beginning of the end for mankind. Well, not if the archangel Michael had anything to say about it. He disagreed with God’s decision, and came down from heaven to ensure that the baby was born. He found the remote diner just in time to help the employees and a few customers fight off the soldiers of God.
  So the biggest question for me going into this movie was who would win in a fight, the grandma or the ice cream man? From everyone I talked to, I think the bets were in favor of the grandma. I was leaning towards the ice cream man. While grandma was scary, I loved how the ice cream man’s limbs stretched out, and then how he ran. Not to mention the awful yell he made when he got out of the truck. Too bad his bark was louder than his bite. After seeing their full performance in the movie, I have to say grandma would win that battle.
  This movie had more people killed by guns than being sliced and diced, which was a little disappointing to me. I have to say it was an easy way for them to run up the body count though. The problem really was that since most of the evil people were just possessed humans, they were too easy to kill. Hence, all of the gun fire. Michael loaded up on guns at the beginning of the movie, which he distributed to most of the people at the diner. Even though they were greatly outnumbered by the flock of people that came to kill the baby, they simply opened fire and blew them away. It was over before they knew it.
  Speaking of that, for some reason, this movie seemed too quick. I know it was just over an hour and a half, but it just seemed to come and go so quickly. Maybe, it was because the movie mostly took place at the diner. Besides the opening scene when Michael came down from heaven, I would say 90% of the movie was at, or around the diner. It could have been, like I said, everyone dying so quickly. Also, it could have been how the chain of events unfolded. I think it was that, but I don’t want to get into specifics and ruin anything.
  What should have been quicker was some of the conversations that took place. The movie started off well. There was a good opening scene with Michael coming down from heaven. The movie then moved to the diner where we were introduced to the characters, which was fine. After that it was back to the action, and killing. It was cool how they showed the humans being possessed. Once that ended, the movie transitioned into a series of conversations between different characters. I think they were trying to strike on some religious undertones, and show why humans deserved to be saved, or exterminated (depending on your point of view). Too bad all that talk bored me, and it couldn’t be over soon enough. Don’t get me wrong the dialogue wasn’t bad. There were plenty of fun lines. They also dropped some hints on what was going to happen at times.
  There were two scenes that I liked in particular. The first happened after the evil people dragged Howard out of the diner. He, along with his wife and teenage daughter, was one of the few customers in the diner when all the madness began. After being dragged out of the diner, the evil people used him as bait to get the wife out of the diner. They strung him up to a huge cross upside down out, and his body was boiling. I am not going to give away what happens except for I liked what they did after that.
  The other scene I liked was when Michael went head-to-head with Gabriel. While Michael was the archangel that was disobeying God, Gabriel supported God’s plan, and came to help kill the baby. When Michael came down from heaven, he had to take a more human form, and get rid of his wings. Who knew those wings were such a valuable weapon? All I will say is that they can do a lot more than just help you fly. The pair put on quite an entertaining fight, and it didn’t end quickly.
  I liked that this movie took a stab at having God, and his angels wanting an end to mankind. I would have liked to see more slicing and dicing than all the gunfire. They made up for that in one of the scenes I particularly liked. My biggest disappointment was that the movie seemed too short. Maybe I was expecting something more to happen. The dialogue was good even though some of the conversations bored me. Most importantly, I now know grandma would kick the ice cream man’s ass. I give this movie 2.5 pools of blood.

   HorrO




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