“Of the three first episodes, this was the least awe inspiring one. The storylines just progressed, but nothing really stood out, except for that unusual ending (which I will get to).” That is how I started off my thoughts on episode three from last season, and I think I feel the same way after this season’s third episode. The storylines just progressed, some more than others, which all led up to a great finish. Mix in a bunch of great one-liners, and that is episode 3. So here are my thoughts on episode 3, “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?”
The episode opens with a scene of Sookie trying to drive away from Eric, and him just scaring her. That proved my point that the end of last week’s episode would have made for a better opening scene for this episode. The conversation they have after he catches up to her is fine, but it is stupid to have her drive then run away from him. Sookie knows better than that. She is not going to speed away from Eric in that yellow car, or out run him. And did Eric really scare you?
I have to say; overall I have really enjoyed Eric as a character. He has been ruthless and slick, while still having an emotional side. He has great lines, and I like how he always has an end game. Just when I thought we saw all of what Eric had to offer, they erased his memory and we get a new Eric. He is definitely a funny Eric, as he has basically become Sookie’s pet vampire. I just want to see her pet him on the head with all those blank expressions on his face. And she tickled his feet; how funny is it that a vampire is ticklish?
Now to Jason, a character that is known for being funny, but has found himself in a situation that is no laughing matter. He is still tied up to the bed with wounds that are covered in dirt. By the end of the episode, I really had hoped they would have at least gotten him out of that bed, but nope. It is getting a little old having him tied up for two episodes now. If he is going to be a panther just do it and get it over with already.
Oh wait, he is not just going to be a panther, but he is going to be “ghost daddy.” Where the hell did they come up with that garbage? That whole story the old man tells is crazy. He talks about a ghost mom and dad being eaten by a panther, and being thrown back up or something like that. I have been skeptical of this whole panther thing from the beginning, and this just makes me think that maybe it is a mistake. They just don’t make much sense to me. They should just do battle with wolves, and get this over with (yes I’m still looking for some kind of battle.)
Even vampires can’t keep themselves off of YouTube, and Facebook. At first I thought that video was being staged. I didn’t think that was a real vampire until he sped away. I guess that girl wanted to be caught by him so that they could film the vampire attacking the girl. I can’t believe Bill is having vampires killed if they are caught on video. That is kind of playing into human’s hands, but they seem to be willing to do anything to restore their image. Did you notice the smoke that was coming from the vampire’s handcuffs? I’m not sure if they messed up there, or not because there was more smoke during certain camera angles than others. Wait a minute; there was no Twitter reference? Oh and www.vampire-kill.com is a real site.
Like last week, I’m not going to waste much time on Jessica. I will just say that I disagree with her. She said that she is “not stupid just unfaithful.” I beg to differ with that, as she is both. She proved that she is stupid when she gave that ugly doll to Arlene’s baby. It is really not looking good for that child.
I was really excited to see Alcide open that door, but not for the same reason that all of you ladies were excited to see him. I was really feeling good about my prediction that they will be together until the scene became another disappointment. It was too short to begin with, but what really ruined it was when Debbie walks into the room. I think I could have thrown something at the TV. That was a total surprise because I thought Alcide was done with her after she went nuts. Now I’m really curious to know what is going to happen to get rid of Debbie so that Sookie and Alcide can be together.
As far as Sam goes, I thought they should have stayed on course with his desire for this new girl. Instead, we had to watch him have another argument with Tommy. Yes, they are brothers, and don’t get along, we get it. Is this going to lead to something meaningful at some point? And what is with the time filler scene with Tara and him? I guess they felt they had to wrap that storyline up from last year. I would have rather seen them use that time to move the end of last week’s episode to the beginning of this week’s episode. They just keep proving my point that it could have worked.
Since I’m trying to make them look bad with the whole opening scene business, it looks like they are doing the same to me. Last week I mentioned how even though Bill and “Snookie,” I mean Sookie, are not together, they continued to show he has an important role. Well he basically accomplished nothing compared to what happened in the last episode. All he does is sentence a vampire to death, give Jessica a pep talk, call Eric, and get hit on by this woman. Not impressive when compared with last week.
Again, it is a very hard choice for my favorite line of the week. For most of the episode, I thought it was going to be the one I used in the previous paragraph. There were plenty of other great ones like the back-to-back lines delivered by the witches when talking about Eric. One witch says, “What does he think this is Nazi Germany?” The response really does it when another witch says, “He did look kind of Aryan.” While not a really funny line, I thought it was interesting how Sookie said she was “fang raped” by Eric. It is just a very interesting concept when you think about what that means.
Ok back to the funny lines. Pam comes so close again when she told Lafayette, Tara, and Jesus that if they didn’t do what they promised that she would “eat, fuck, and kill” all three of them. Just thinking about her going through that whole process is funny. All of those lines are great, but the winner is Sookie when she said, “You just killed my fairy godmother!” I never thought I would hear “kill” and “fairy godmother” in the same sentence. Follow that up with the priceless look on Eric’s face, and that made for the perfect ending to this episode (unlike last week’s ending, yes I said it again).
Now that they got the sub par episode out of the way, hopefully they can get back to business next week. I don’t want to see any more time fillers, and storylines going nowhere important. Let’s get back into the meat of these storylines. I want to see Jason out of that bed, and no more information on panther magic. I want to see Bill being the King, and not wasting his time with Jessica and having sex. Let’s get back to the witches circle, and find out how powerful Marnie can become. Let’s start getting rid of Debbie so Sookie and Alcide can be together. On the other hand, I do look forward to seeing more of Sookie and her pet vampire. “You just killed my fairy godmother,” just too funny!