V/H/S/2 REVIEW

Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find a collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student’s disappearance.

Starring: Lawrence Michael Levine, and Kelsy Abbott

Directed by: Simon Barrett, Jason Eisener, Gareth Evans, Gregg Hale, Eduardo Sanchez, Timo Tjahjanto, and Adam Wingard

Written by: Timo Tjahjanto, Brad Miska, Simon Barrett, John Davies, Jason Eisener, Gareth Evans, Jamie Nash, and Eduardo Sanchez

  To start off, it’s surprising that V/H/S/2 was made because V/H/S wasn’t that great. It has its moments here and there, but nothing stands out about it. The worse thing about it is the story that sets up the viewing of the cassettes. It didn’t seem to make sense, nor be a good reason for the cassettes to be shown.

  With that being said, obviously the first thing that needs improvement on in the sequel is the set up story. While there is nothing amazing about it, this set up at least makes sense. It’s simply some investigators on a case when they find the cassettes, and start watching them. There isn’t a great dynamic between the pair of investigators, but that isn’t important part of the movie.

  The important part is the stories found on the cassettes. The first story called “Phase 1 Clinical Trials” is about a guy who receives an eye transplant. The audience sees this story through his new robotic eye. By far, this is the scariest of the stories because his new eye allows him to see ghosts. It’s not a bad story, but it kind of feels like it has been told before.

  The story that absolutely blew me out of the water is called “A Ride in the Park.” This story is about a guy who takes a bike ride through a park, and runs into trouble when he stops to help a woman out. What kind of trouble? Well he gets bit by the woman now zombie, and becomes one himself. The audience gets to see what he does once he turns through a camera that is mounted on top of his bike helmet. It’s an awesome up close look from a zombie’s point of view, not to mention a great short story.

  The next cassette is a short story called “Safe Haven.” This is certainly a story that has people talking whether they liked it or not. It’s the bloodiest story, and makes it hard to believe they would actually show this in theaters. Yes, it’s that crazy! Without giving too much away, basically a film crew is given permission to film a mysterious cult out in the middle of nowhere. Of course things get out of hand, and starts to go way down hill quickly.

  While the previous two stories are easy to like, the next one isn’t. It’s called “Slumber Party Alien Abduction.” In this story, some young kids strap a camera on their small dog, and film themselves having some fun around the house. Their sister and her boyfriend are in charge, and in the typical brother/sister battle they play jokes on each other. It’s all fun and games until aliens come to abduct them. Sounds like a good story, but when the aliens attack the camera turns on and off constantly, each time with the dog ending up in a different place. It seems like they wanted to create the chaos of the moment, but it just becomes too messy. The aliens are pretty cool looking though.

  It’s not often that audiences find sequels that are better than the original, but that is definitely the case in the V/H/S series. It’s a pleasant surprise to see the improvement from V/H/S to V/H/S/2. It starts with a set up story that actually makes sense, and then moves on to some solid short stories. There is definitely some imagination in the unique way each story is shot. The movie also gives audiences something a little different in each story, as it as something for fans of ghosts, zombies, bloodshed, or aliens. With that, I give this V/H/S/2 a solid 3 pools of blood. 

  HorrO

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 6 Episode 7

  Terry’s death was an extremely depressing moment in episode 6. That depression carried over to episode 7. It had such an affect on this episode that I’m not sure why they didn’t call it “Depression and Sex.” I’ll get to the sex part later. So here are my thoughts on episode 7, “Depression and,” no sorry I mean, “In the Evening.”

  I think the most depressing moment of the night was during the previews for the next episode when they mentioned there were 3 episodes left. I totally forgot that after last season they said there would only be 10 episodes this season. Talk about sucking! Not only does that suck, but also that throws off my whole thing about episode 6 being a huge episode. Ugh, I hate when True Blood messes with me.

  All right, enough about my depression, and onto the real depressing moments. Not that I care about her, but the scene where Sarah finds the Gov’s head started the string of sad moments. Besides for the fact that she was talking to a head, it seemed like an awkward scene. I should have known after this scene that it was going to be one of those episodes. At least Sarah took it well, as she decided she was going to take control of things. That can only mean she will die!!!

  Sookie naked for two episodes in a row! Oh yea, stick to depressing moments for now. So Sookie heard Arlene crying in the graveyard, and went to console her. I was a little confused by that. Did they bury Terry already? It didn’t seem like it, but why would Arlene be lying in the grass crying?

  Anyway, Sookie was able to get her up, and back to the house. Poor Lafayette got a tongue-lashing. At least her friends, and family were with her. And maybe even an unwelcome visitor like Bill. There should have been a snap shot of everyone’s face when he walked in that door…priceless! How about Bill showing a little class, and saying he was sorry for her loss. Boy did she snap out of her drunken state.

   Vampire Bill let me reintroduce you to Sheriff Andy. Sheriff Andy, this is Vampire Bill! How I love when Andy calls him Vampire Bill. It must have taken everything in Andy not to at least punch Bill. I think Bill would have taken one for the team there, but that would have been it. It was a good thing Andy kept looking at Holly, which kept him cool. Like Bill was trying to say, at the end of the day they are just two fathers looking out for their children.

  Now to the real reason he was there…Sookie. No shock there right? He knows the only way to get Warlow back is for Sookie to bring him back, at least sooner than later. I guess he could hang out in fantasy graveyard land for a while longer, but not forever. Bill knows Sookie will do the right thing. It’s just a matter of what it will cost Sookie.

  Sam wasn’t immune to the miserable news of Terry’s death. Just like Sookie will do the right thing, Sam will do the right thing, and return to help everyone cope with their friend’s death. But first he has something really important to take of. Nope, not buying flowers. Not buying a card. Not getting his suit ready for a funeral. You got it…having sex with Nicole. Ok to be fair it was her idea.

  After what we saw from the wolves, it might be the last time she has sex. No surprise that Mr. One, wait, Mr. Two Scenes screwed up again. He should have listened to his father. He certainly isn’t packmaster material. Like I said before, Rikki is insane. She’s one angry wolf! Is she trying to break barriers, and be the first female packmaster or something? I wonder what happens to Alcide now. And I don’t see how Sam is going to save Nicole this time.

  Speaking of saving people, Jason was so close to saving Jessica. That really was a weird scene. Instead of trying to get her out of there, they just talked until Jess convinced him to just do what she wanted. She’s another one that has gone a little wacky, and is in some kind of deep depression herself (yes trying to keep with the theme.) And lets continue the other theme, as Jess then decides she also wants to have sex, but not with Jason. We had shifter-human sex, and now vampire-vampire sex. Covering all the bases. Oh, and we can’t forget the human-fairy-vampire sex Sookie and Ben had.

  Do you think we got vampire-human sex? Yes, I mean Pam, and the doctor. I’m kind of glad they decided not to show us that. Still, Pam had him right where she wanted. She knows our sick minds. I guess she wants to get back to the general population to be with Tara. Tara might need her help to save poor Jason. Tara probably can’t take the vamp that apparently is in charge, but I’m sure Pam can. That is going be fun.

  What’s not fun is getting back to the depressing stuff. This episode was so depressing that I couldn’t find a favorite line of the night. Seriously, one of the few times that has happened. I know Lafayette tried a couple of times, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Like I said, I enjoy when Andy refers to Bill as Vampire Bill, but that can’t always be the line of the night. Hopefully I can find one next week.

  Of course the episode had to end on a depressing note. Poor Eric tried to save his sister. I mean, when he resorts to asking Bill for help, he’s pretty desperate. I didn’t think it would be so simple as Bill’s blood curing her. It would be interesting to find out if Warlow’s blood could. I found the flashback a little out of place since it was so quick. It seemed like there was more story there that needed to be shown. And now Nora falls in line with some of the other vamps that have become nothing more than a pile of blood. The only question is how mad will Eric be at Bill for not coming through?

  So you were depressed last night, and I just depressed you all over again. Sorry about that. There was some sex if that makes you feel better. Overall, probably the worse episode since the premiere. Hopefully with three episodes left, they get can finish strong. I was thinking about how the lack of episodes remaining means there is only so much time left for certain things to take place, and will leave some stuff unsettled for next season. One example of that is what ultimately happens between Bill and Warlow. Billith probably lives on until next season, but you will only have to wait until next week to hear from me again.

  HorrO

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 6 Episode 6

  As you may know, I always look for episode 6 as being a big episode in a 12-episode season. Big things need to happen. Events should change the direction of the rest of the season. There should be surprises, and maybe even some depressing moments. While I’m not sure this was the biggest 6^th episode it certainly had a lot of these things. So lets take a look at episode 6, “Don’t You Feel Me?”

  Unfortunately I have to start of with the most depressing moment of the episode… Terry’s death. I’ve been saying I’m not sure where Arlene and his storyline is headed, and maybe the writers weren’t either. That sometimes gets a character killed off. Credit Holly for coming up for what seemed like a good idea. Too bad they didn’t count on Terry having someone else kill him. If only Arlene would have talked to him first. I was kind of surprised how no one really tried to save him. They just let him pass away. A moment of silence for a good man….

  Onto Sam’s storyline, which is another one with little direction. You are telling me that he went through all of that to get Emma back, and then just gives her up. What a waste of airtime. Then Mr. One Scene comes in, and tells Sam he can’t return home. So what is Sam suppose to do now? Of course he will go back home, but then what? And what will Alcide, and his pack do now? Something interesting seriously needs to happen with these characters soon!

  Continuing with the theme of weak storylines brings me to Andy, and his daughter. If he continues like this I might have to make him the new Mr. One Scene. Unlike Alcide, I’m usually happy to see Andy because at least he provides some humor. I didn’t quite catch it, but did he say “Fandango” when Holly came up behind him? I also loved how he went about naming his daughter. I mean, her initials are now A.B.C.D.! Only Andy would do that!

  All right, I think I got all of the unimportant business out of the way. Onto the serious stuff starting with Sookie, and Warlow. Interesting how Bill still felt her in danger. I guess they will always be connected no matter how much they say they hate the other. Also interesting how Bill let Warlow go save her. I told you a blast would knock that ghost right out of Lafayette.

  Then the weirdness took over when Sookie teleported Warlow away. Skipping past their unusual conversation, lets get to when she calls herself a whore, and then tries to prove that by striping, and getting on top of Warlow. No I don’t want to talk about it because she got naked. Man, you guys think so little of me. I do have to say I didn’t think we would ever see her naked on the show again, but so much for that. I do want to talk about Warlow biting her, and more importantly her apparently biting him. Since when does she do that? Did I fall asleep for a minute? So is Sookie going to go from half human half fairy to half fairy half vampire? If Sookie ends up with Warlow, neither Warlow nor Bill will die because she won’t let them kill each other so where are they going with this storyline. A set up for the rest of the season.

  Before I get to the two badass moments of the episode, let me take care of my favorite line of the night. Andy was close with the whole naming thing, but the winner this time is Jason. I enjoyed his fake excitement at the recruitment center when he made it clear he was ready to join the “fuck fanger police force.” Sometimes he isn’t as dumb as he seems. I did feel bad when that bitch, yes I said bitch, Sara made him watch Jessica almost have to have sex in front of everyone.

  Now to badass scene of the night number 1: Eric and Pam pinning the guard up against the glass and stabbing him. How awesome was that? The scene was already awesome the second Eric and Pam decided to hover in the room with spears in hand. The guard getting killed was topping on the cake. Oh, and when Eric saw the Rev. Man do I wish the Rev and Sara were in that room with Eric and Pam.

  I don’t often fell badly for Eric, but that was pretty evil what the Governor did to him. Not that I care a whole lot about Nora. At least they escaped as I expected Eric would. The episode is supposed to be full of surprises, but I don’t think anyone was surprised that the Tru Blood was poisoned. I’m curious to see what Eric does now that he knows this.

  Now to badass scene of the night number 2: Bill taking the head right off the Governor. This was probably the biggest surprise of the night. No way did I think the Gov. would die so soon. Like the first badass scene, this scene was awesome the second Bill stopped the guys from firing on him, and had them fire on each other. Putting the head next to the statue was a nice touch.

  The only thing I didn’t understand was why it appeared Bill just left after that. Why not go save the Jessica, and the others? Can he really not find the white room? I guess he knew he could only stay in the sun so long. Also, with Bill being able to see the future, how come he doesn’t know that the Gov. wasn’t the only one behind the actions against the vampires? I guess he will soon see that this was really Sara’s doing, as she takes the role of lead villain. I can’t wait to see her head ripped off.

  So I think this episode had a lot of things on my checklist. It was a very good episode, but it didn’t blow me away. Some good and bad surprises. Some good and bad deaths. Some sad, and badass moments. Most of all, it left us with a lot to look forward to in the weeks to come. See you next week, as we move towards the second half of the season.

  HorrO

THE CONJURING REVIEW

Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren work to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in their farmhouse. Forced to confront powerful entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most terrifying case of their lives.

Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Ron Livingston, and Lili Taylor

Directed by: James Wan

Written by: Chad Hayes, and Carey Hayes

  It’s easy to scare the average movie fan, but when you hear hardcore horror fans talk about how scary “The Conjuring” is it sets the bar high. Not that the bar wasn’t high enough for James Wan after “Insidious,” a movie that actually had me jumping out of my seat. On top of that, throw in talks of “The Conjuring 2” before this one is even released. That is just crazy! So does the “The Conjuring” live up to the high expectations?

  Well it really didn’t take long to meet those expectations. How could it do it so fast? The answer… Annabelle. The movie opens about two years before the events at the farmhouse with a quick story about a doll named Annabelle. The way Annabelle’s story is told is fantastic, and creeps the audience out without having to pull any cheap scares. Not that there is anything wrong with the rest of the movie, but it could have been about Annabelle from that point on and it would have been fine with me!

  Doing such a good job with the brief story of Annabelle only made it clear that they would do a good job with the real story at hand. Part of what they do well is keeping the story moving while giving the audience a reason to care for the characters. The real story starts with Roger (Ron Livingston) and Carolyn Perron (Lili Taylor) moving into a farmhouse with their five daughters. There is a good balance of getting to know the family, and not wasting too much time before the strange events start occurring.

  As the audience gets to see these events build in the Perron’s household, they also get a glimpse into the Warren’s household. Like the Perron’s, they also have a young daughter, and have also been affected by strange events, although mostly because that’s there job. It’s a nice touch getting to know the Warrens as opposed to them just being some ghost hunters called on another job. It gives the characters some depth, and a reason for the audience to care about them. Best of all, a reason to keep bringing back Annabelle!

  The acting is solid, but not amazing. Vera Farmiga gives the best performance in her role as Lorraine Warren.  She handles being both scared, and strong. The only disappointment about her performance is that she didn’t yell out “Norman!” Patrick Wilson scores another lead role in a James Wan film, this time as Ed Warren. It’s understandable that they would want to work together, but it might have been nice to see a new face in there. Ron and Lili have their up and down moments as the Perrons, while the young actresses playing the daughters handle being scared pretty well.

  Enough with the story and acting, and on to what everyone wants to talk about… the scares! The scares start simple, and become creepier as the movie goes on. One nice thing about the early scares is how the girls could see what’s scaring them, but the audience couldn’t. It puts the audience in the perfect position of being as terrified as the characters, but not really knowing why. The audience is left sitting there thinking “why can she see it, and I can’t?”

  The scene in which it’s finally revealed to the audience what’s scaring the daughters is well worth the wait. What isn’t worth the wait is the now famous “clapping hands.” Why not? Well, as usual they give it away in the previews. That scene was scary as hell when it first appeared in the previews, but by the time it happens in the movie the audience knows it’s coming (except for a few scaredy cats). It only builds some tension, but one of the best scares in a long time is totally ruined.

  There are ample enough scares to make up what’s lost with the clapping hands. The movie goes into full out scare mode towards the end. The time they use making the audience care for the characters really comes into play. As with the standard here, I’m not going to give away the specifics, but will say there should surely be something somewhere that will creep you out.

  The expectations for “The Conjuring” were high, and thanks to James Wan, it met those expectations. The movie is well done from beginning to end. There is little wasted time, and characters for the audience to care about. The acting is good enough not to distract from the story at hand. While admitting that “Insidious” had me jumping out of my seat, this movie didn’t. However, there are plenty of scary scenes, which will leave audiences freaked out. I’m already looking forward the sequel, especially if it has anything to do with Annabelle. I’m not sure if I liked “Insidious,” or “The Conjuring” more, but do know that I give “The Conjuring” 3.5 pools of blood!

  HorrO

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 6 Episode 5

  I think it’s fair to say Bill and Eric’s plans that I’ve been talking about have official blown up, and they have moved on. I’m not sure Eric has a plan anymore. As for Bill, well he helped answer a big question I had after last week’s episode. So here are my thoughts on those things, and more from episode 5, “Fuck the Pain Away.”

  First, that has to be one of the best titles for a True Blood episode yet. Yes, a large part of that is because it has “Fuck” in the title. I can’t help it, how many shows can get away with putting that in an episode’s title. Ok, time to grow up, and move on.

  So the question I was referring to was how would they bring Bill, and Warlow together when they have yet to cross path. Well we saw Bill answer that when he showed up at Sookie’s house, and commanded Warlow away. I knew Sookie wasn’t going to do anything to him. She should have gone with my plan.

  There were a few interesting that happened in that brief opening. One was how Sookie hurt Warlow, but he quickly healed. Was that just a vampire thing, or something else special about him? And does that mean Sookie really won’t be able to kill him? Then there is how Bill actually felt Warlow’s pain. So when Nora says Warlow can kill Lilith is that more like if Warlow kills himself, or someone kills him then Lilith dies too? Maybe this was just one of those things when a maker knows his progeny is in trouble. Wow, I just went from having one question answered to coming up with several more. At least there is something to look forward to!

  So the great and powerful Eric was doing what exactly? Just hanging out waiting for his plan to work? Oh, we were just waiting for Tara to tell him what happened to Pam, so that they could move his storyline forward. I guess hanging out was a better plan than turning himself in. Sometimes Eric is just too full of himself. I don’t see know what he was thinking.

  I’m not sure what the humans are thinking either with some of those tests. Drop the ball, and kill the slowest vampires… what does that prove? The vampire on the hamster wheel was hilarious, and the two vamps going at it was just porn not worth watching. I’m all in for gladiator vampire style, but not Eric vs. Pam. That was just wrong.

  Ugh, and that just brings me to the Rev., and Sara! Can someone please kill them already? Man do I hate them. They aren’t even good villains. I just want them dead. The Rev. isn’t a vampire he’s a snake. And Sara, for a second I wish she would become a vamp, but I don’t want to have to watch that. Jessica was so close to ending her, damn! Speaking of that scene, just how did Sara rescind Jessica’s invitation to Jason’s house? (another question)

  I knew Jessica didn’t kill all of the girls. Boy was she high as kite. I wonder when that will wear off. I couldn’t even keep up with what she was saying. I’m happy Andy will have at least one of his girls with him. I would have been happier for him if maybe he would have cried a little longer. He cried for a second, and that was it. Not his best acting. Definitely better at saying funny lines like referring to Bill as “Vampire Bill”. I dislike Holly, but at least she had some good advice for him.

  Now there were two storylines that just had such little time that it almost didn’t seem worth showing. One was Terry at the bar talking to Justin. So Terry wants to kill himself? I know he’s a little messed up, but what about Arlene, and the kids? He’s just going to forget about them. Actually Arlene would probably kill him just for making that kind of deal. I told you I’m sure there are any good storylines left for Terry, and Arlene.

  Then there were the two scenes with Sam, and Nicole, and you can throw in the one with Alcide, and his father. Did we really need to see them wake up? We all knew what happened last week. And then Nicole had to try to call home just for the purpose of Sam stopping her, and Alcide’s father seeing them. So what will he do? My guess is forget he saw them unless he has something else planned for them. Let me take a moment and say, “hahahahahahaha!” Mr. One Scene’s father got more scenes then him!

  Since I’m suddenly in a laughing mood, I have to say I really enjoyed some of the funny moments in this episode. There was the aforementioned vampire on the hamster wheel followed by Pam winning for my favorite line of the night when she said, “care to explain the scientific value of this.” See give Pam some good scene time, and the real Pam will come out. I also liked when Jessica mentioned how God should strike her down, but that won’t happen if Bill is God. And who doesn’t want to go throw one back at The Unfriendly Possum?

  Back to serious matters, they weren’t kidding when they said Lilith, and Warlow were old. That might have been the oldest flashback ever, and not to mention weirdest. “Hi I’m Lilith, I’m naked, and I’m going screw and bite you right now!” So Lilith knew right when she met him that he would save vampires? Question, how is he going to do that?

  When Sookie and Lafayette were preparing to summon her parents I totally didn’t remember how that usually doesn’t end well for Lafayette. Poor Sookie, her father gets a second chance to kill her. He needs to get over it because she’s all grown up now. Sookie should have just blasted dad right out of Lafayette. Maybe she will do that next week.

  Speaking of next week, that will be episode 6, which means I will be expecting big things. I think I presented enough questions that can be addressed. There is the matter of getting rid of the Rev., and Sara. There are important things like Sookie escaping her father, and Bill regaining control of Warlow. Oh and how could I forget the face-off between Eric, and Pam? I can’t believe they really set that up, even though I had a feeling something like that was coming. I will see you after next week’s hopefully amazing episode. Time to hit The Unfriendly Possum!

  HorrO

THE LAST EXORCISM 2 REVIEW

As Nell Sweetzer tries to build a new life after the events of the first movie, the evil force that once possessed her returns with an even more horrific plan.

Stars: Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, and Spencer Treat Clark

Directed by: Ed Gass-Donnelly

Written by: Damien Chazelle, and Ed Gass-Donnelly 

  Let me start by saying I wasn't a fan of the original. It just wasn't as scary as they made it seem, especially after giving away everything in the previews. It seemed like they saved most of the action for the end of the movie. Speaking of the ending, the sudden conclusion didn't do much for me either. However, the story and acting weren’t too bad, and it was a good attempt at a found footage movie.

  With that said, making a sequel just didn’t seem necessary. After watching the sequel, it proved me right. Nothing happens that is so important that audiences have to see it. The story is pretty simple. Nell (Ashley Bell) thinks she's getting over the events of the first movie when the demon once again returns, and tries to reunite with her.

  If you are thinking this is where I begin to rip into this movie, you might be surprised. While it's a simple story that really didn't need to be told, I didn't hate the movie. Nor would I say it's a blockbuster either. I guess you could call it just another movie.

  One thing that I liked about this one more than the original is that it at least tries to scare the audience. They try a lot of scare scenes, which may or may not work on the audience. At least they try, and the scares are better than any of the weak attempts in the original. It just isn't about how many different ways the girl can bend her body.

  Besides the scares, the movie just heads to the eventual exorcism. Again proving that this movie didn’t need to be made. The acting isn't terrible, so it's bearable getting there. The exorcism is kind of weak mostly because she has some people do it that aren't ready for the real thing. Oh, and the scariest part of the exorcism was once again shown in the previews. They will never learn!

  With the big sudden conclusion to the original, I was curious at what they would come up with this time. It’s actually a little surprising the way the movie ends. I don't want to give it away, but it certainly didn't end like most exorcism movies. If you told me it's a stupid ending, I wouldn’t argue with that either. It’s truly weird, and for the third time proves that this movie didn’t need to be made.

  Sometimes I can’t wait for sequels, but “The Last Exorcism 2” wasn’t one of them. I’m sure those who loved the original were extremely let down by this one. It really is just another movie. The story is simple, the acting isn’t too bad, there are some decent scare attempts, and everything leads to the exorcism once again. At least this time it really might be the “last” exorcism! With that said, I give this movie 2 pools of blood.

  HorrO

My Thoughts On True Blood Season 6 Episode 4

  Last week I ended by talking about the Bill and Eric’s plans to stop the Governor. Both were in motion this week, and both hit speed bumps. It’s good to see things don’t always go as planned even for the almighty vampires. So lets take a look at these plans, and more with my thoughts on episode 4, “At Last.”

  Speaking of last week, I called it. True Blood already fooled me a couple of times this season, but not this time! And I quote from last week, “It did cross my mind that Ben could be Warlow in disguise.” That’s why you write stuff down! I like how they tried to be smooth with it, as he just dropped those fangs down. Poor Jason, back on the vampire blood. He can’t get a break.

  So I’m a little confused at how Warlow can be a fairy, and a vampire. That quick conversation with grandpa before throwing him in the portal threw me off. I thought he supposedly came from Lilith. How could he be tied to Lilith, and come from fairies as well? Nora might be right, he just might be the person to stop Bill. Warlow can obviously walk in the sun light, which we saw wasn’t working for Bill.

  That brings me to Bill’s plan to synthesize the fairy blood. It was looking good as Andy’s daughters suddenly became party girls, and ventured out of the house. 4 hot daughters with the sheriff as their father is never a good combination. I was surprised they decided to go with Jessica, but that’s what happens when you grow up so fast. I was also surprised Jessica was able to hold back as long as she did. Bill’s plan was going so well until that point. I blame Bill for that. He should have known Jessica would give in eventually.

  Going back to Andy, he wins for my favorite line of the week. Actually, lets make it lines this week. I’m going to be lazy and just say that my favorite lines were any time Andy gave the description of his daughters. The wide range of the descriptions was hilarious. I also loved when he said that they haven’t slept since they were 3. I told you I would feel sorry for him. He might not have wanted the girls to begin with, but he certainly loves them. Hopefully they aren’t dead, and Bill will return them. And I have to say I’m impressed Andy figured out Bill had them.

  Onto Eric’s plan, which wasn’t going well thanks to Tara. I’m not sure what Tara was thinking. As a matter of fact, Pam and Tara’s roles so far this season have been disappointing. They are simply there to give Eric someone to argue with. Don’t get me wrong, some of the arguing has been fun, but it doesn’t due Pam, or Tara justice. At least now that Pam has been taken there won’t be as much arguing.

  Oh yea, I’m supposed to be talking about Eric’s plan. Boy is Willa dumb! She is on the vamps side, but obviously doesn’t know much about them. That couldn’t have been easier for Eric to convince her to be a vamp. And yes Eric that stupidity really didn’t help when you sent her back to daddy. Useless! She’s just going to be sent to that camp now, and daddy is probably more pissed at vamps then ever. Ugh, can we please rid ourselves of Sara, and the Rev. already. How about the Rev. turns her into a vamp, and they both burn!!!

  Going back to Pam getting caught for a second, anyone else find it weird how the Governor’s people just happen to be in the right place at the right time? I mean, Tara just runs away, and bam Pam is taken. Pam didn’t hear, or smell those guards? The same with Nora, Grandpa just happens to blast her right into their lap. I do wonder what Eric is going to do when he finds out that Pam, and Nora now belong to the Governor.

  Come on Sam, how can you be so predictable? A show of hands, how many people knew he would end up sleeping with Nicole? Ok, they didn’t show us what happened next, but still. Luna just died, and Emma is in the next room. How about you worry about where you are going to hide? I don’t see where he can go that the wolves won’t find him. Then again, the pack master isn’t exactly on top of things.

  I’ve talked about Bill, and Eric’s plans, but Sookie hatched her own plan in this episode. It seemed like a good one, but I don’t like how it left off. How could she think she had the upper hand holding a ball of light over him? Can she even blast him like that? Does she just have to touch him with it? We know it won’t end like that. A better plan would have been to bite the bullet, and sleep with him. Then wake up in the middle of the night, and blast him away. Yea I know that never works either. Still, I’m not sure why she picked that moment to let him know she knows who he is. And now that I think about it, I’m curious to see just how they are going to bring Bill and Warlow together. Their storylines at this point are so far apart.

  So it turns out that Bill, Eric, and Sookie’s plans aren’t turning out as well as they thought. Bill has to hope there is still some fairy blood left. Eric is going to be pissed when he finds out that Pam, Nora, and possibly Willa are now the Governor’s prisoners. And Sookie, well we will just have to wait until next week to see her plan go up in flames. No way she blasts Warlow/Ben. And Sam’s plan, I’m not so sure he has one. It’s a good thing Alcide probably doesn’t have one either. My plan is to end this right here, and see you again next week!

  HorrO

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 6 Episode 3

  Now we got the ball rolling True Blood. How can I tell? For one, there were several choices for my favorite line of the night, which wasn’t happening in the first two episodes. We got some action, and people’s plans are starting to unfold. So here are my thoughts on episode 3, “You’re No Good.”

  I usually enjoy when Eric has a good plan. It was going so well at first. Too bad the plan involved a stupid human. It also doesn’t help that Tara and Pam aren’t all in on the plan either. I did enjoy how Pam would disagree with Eric, and then Tara would follow it up. I wonder how long Eric can put up with that act. We might not have to wait long to see him explode if Tara ends up doing something stupid with Willa.

  On a positive note, it looks like Willa is willing to spill the beans. We already knew the Governor and his people were learning about vamps, and now we know where. We also got the first insight on why the Governor hates vamps. Shame on Mrs. Governor! Who thought Willa wanted to follow the same path while in the coffin with Eric?

  And look what vampire got caught, and taken to vampire camp, Rev. Steve! Oh no, I’m so concerned! What will they do to him? Hopefully they don’t torture him. Seriously, we have to bring the Rev. back again. I’m sure some of you like him, but I’ve had enough. If they can kill off the King, then they need to kill off the Rev. too.

  Speaking of death, so much for those members of the Vampire United Society of Morons. Lets just drive up to a pack of wolves. That always seems like a good idea. They will never suspect we are up to something, especially in the middle of the night. Mr. One Scene actually got two scenes in this episode in order to prove he can’t control his pack. Damn does Rikki have some anger management issues. Time for Alcide to get a new girlfriend.

  Sam the owl, not a bad disguise. I really wondered how long he would wait before trying to stop the wolves. I was impressed that he let the wolves kill the morons. Oh well, they did give him a chance to free Emma. And then the good side of him kicked in when he had to chase after the girl. You better not get caught Sam!

  And now lets welcome back another character that isn’t on my most favorite list, Holly. She went to the police station to complain about vamps at her hotel, but we know she just wanted to see Andy. Andy, who brought it strong with the comedy again! I almost hit the floor when he said he numbered the girls because that seemed to work. Such an Andy thing to do. And then he told the girls to turn off their hand lasers, oh man. I’ll definitely feel bad for Andy when Bill takes numbers 1-4!

  That’s right, as funny as Andy and the girls were he didn’t win for my favorite line of the night. The winner this time is Lafayette during his talk with Sam. He said, “Before you turn into a snake, or bear, or some shit I can’t have a conversation with…” What really makes it funny is thinking about Sam doing that while Lafayette is talking. I could only imagine the look on his face. I do have to say I’m disappointed that Pam hasn’t even come close to winning so far. I expect more from her.

  So while grandpa fairy was searching the fairy bar the only thing I was hoping was that Ben was in there. Well, so much for hoping. I mean, how long did it take him to find the place? Sookie didn’t leave him that far away. Man, world’s slowest fairy. Maybe he needs to learn that cool trick that grandpa does flashing all over the place. Why do I want him dead? So that we don’t have to see scenes of Sookie and him like the one in the kitchen. No more love interests for Sookie! I know, I’m hoping again! It did cross my mind that Ben could be Warlow in disguise. Now that would be awesome!

  Poor Jason! What the hell is wrong with him? It certainly isn’t because he took too many hits to the head, although it didn’t help when Bill just let him hit the floor. Hopefully it’s not about that whole werepanther thing. Yes, I’m the only one that remembers the werepanthers because that was such a bad storyline. Going back to Jason, I guess he won’t be helping Sookie, and Sookie won’t be able to focus on Warlow if she’s worried about Jason.

  I don’t know who was more shocked that Bill caught on fire Bill, Jessica, or myself? Again, they fooled me in those previews. It really looked like Bill was going to be able to do it. I guess he still needs some kind of weakness with all the new powers he has. New power recap: apparently can’t be staked, can suck blood from humans without biting them, can see the future, and stops dishes that are thrown at him. Not too bad. I wonder what else he can do.

  So Bill’s plan involves making some fairy blood. This will be interesting. I wonder if it’s just for him, or to give to other vamps. They could put the fairy blood in the new True Blood that the Governor wants made. Now that is a plan assuming of course the Governor doesn’t already have plans for that True Blood. It would definitely be a surprise to humans if all the vamps came out in the daytime. Isn’t that what the King wanted to do? Hopefully it works out better for Bill.

  Seeing that Eric and Bill now have plans to deal with the Governor it will be interesting to see whose plan works out. I’m guessing Bill’s plan has a better chance seeing that Bill envisioned Eric getting fried. It also doesn’t hurt that Bill is part vampire God. I also look forward to seeing how Sam plans to keep Emma away from the wolves because that isn’t going to be easy. Just a few things to look forward to. I’ll try not to get blasted by any hand lasers, and be back after next week’s episode.

  HorrO