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Thursday, July 31, 2014

SHARKNADO 2: THE SECOND ONE



  What did I watch last night you say? Well since there was nothing new to watch, I believe I watched the Travel Channel, which featured NYC. There appears to be many interesting things to do there like taking a boat out to see the Statue of Liberty. They have a nice looking baseball stadium, but I'm not sure how good their baseball team is, especially when they hit home runs with sharks instead of baseballs. They have a lot of ways to travel around the city. There is the subway, taxi drivers who apparently follow you around with spare rope, and you can even rent bikes. Maybe I will visit there one day. What? Wrong channel? Wrong show?
  Well maybe it was the Weather Channel? They started off showing the potential for bad weather, and then went into panic forecasting. First it was a waterspout, then a tornado. If one tornado wasn't bad enough, a second and later third one showed up. I would have thought the Weather Channel would be more informed, but they kept coming up with crazy reasons why these tornados wanted to merge. One woman even mentioned a forecast of raining sharks! Odd how they seemed to be only focusing on NY. Huh, still the wrong channel?
  Well hell, maybe it was the Discovery Channel? I do remember seeing sharks after all. I never knew that sharks growled like dogs. Then again, I learned a lot of new things about sharks. They do rain from the sky like that woman forecasted. However, they never mentioned how long the sharks could survive out of water. Apparently they can swim through the air pretty well though. Oh, and I'm amazed at how easily you can split a shark in half. They must become softer after being out of water for a while. That wasn't the Discovery Channel either?
  Hmm, well my original plan was to watch "Snakes on a Plane." I thought I had the right channel for a few minutes at least. This couple was on a plane talking about a book with the stewardess. I was waiting for Samuel L. Jackson to appear, but this other guy was there and he was little help. Most importantly, there were no snakes. Maybe the sharks that flew into the cabin ate them. You know what, I'm starting to make a connection between all these channels. They all had flying sharks!
  What channel did you say I was watching? Syfy! Let me think about that for a minute. There was certainly some bad acting, especially moments when that couple tried to show they loved each other. Hell, it couldn’t get any worse than when he proposed with a ring off a hand that was in a shark’s mouth. There was a lot of bad CGI, like when that guy was fending off the shark with a bat in the subway, and the bat slid through the shark's body. I guess they spent their money on more important things!
  What else? There were some guest stars. I mean I'm not sure you can call them all stars, but if you watch those morning shows you might recognize them. Too bad the sharks didn’t have more luck killing them off! There was ad placement like for Subway, Coors, and even the whole freaking city of NY! Weird how that's usually done in big summer blockbusters not on Syfy movies. Maybe it wasn't... Ok maybe it was! No need to yell! It’s just that Syfy usually does a natural disaster or crazy creature movie separately. Maybe they decide to combine the two this time in the form of tornados, and sharks. Wait tornado. Flying sharks. It was Syfy! I was watching Sharknado 2! Well I hope you can see how I might have been confused!

  HorrO

Monday, July 28, 2014

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 7 Episode 6



  Praise Lilith! Praise Billith! Praise whomever you want! Holy Werepanther, there's a cure! What are you waiting for? We have vamps to cure! Start mass production right now! Oh thank you Sarah! Wait Sarah! Does that mean we can't kill her now? And where did she go? While I get over that sad fact, here are my thoughts on episode 6, "Karma"
  Mayor of Crazy: Time for a divorce! I knew she wasn't for you. Oh and it's going be hard keeping the kids with the whole shifting thing... unless they shift too which would be awesome!
  Nicole: Still don't like her!
  Wade: Just ignored what Jason had to say! Sleeping with your step-sister-fairy! Couldn't resist huh?
  Adilyn: And here I thought she decided to be a good little fairy. Boy is it going to be fun when she pops out 5-6 little fairies like her mom did! It’s things like this that make me sad there won’t be another season.
  Rocky: Who thought he would be the sensible one after all?
  Andy: I thought Mister was going to kill Wade. Wade is lucky he's Holly's son, or the sheriff would be in jail for murder. I feel bad for Andy cause Violet is up to no good!
  Holly: Way to stand up for your son Lady. Boy their marriage is going to be fun, and dysfunctional!
  Arlene: A good voice of reason. She's been in enough relationships to be in a position to help them out. I like when she acts like a strong person. She's definitely grown a lot over the series.
  James: Looks like it's over for him and Jessica. Figures he would be at Lafayette's for drugs, and other fun!
  Tara's mom: Maybe not as crazy as I thought, but could still be Ms. Mayor of Crazy Town!
  Lafayette: I like how he went with her into that dream world. Not really sure how they both can ended up in the same place.
  Tara: So what the hell did she say? Translation anyone? At least she also has my curiosity into what she's digging up.
  Rev: It's time to move on.
  Violet: That is one vamp you don't want to cross! She is going to do something really bad if someone doesn't stop her.
  Jason: He always ends up with the crazy women/creatures. He's lucky to still be in one piece. I thought she was going to tear him apart.
  Jessica: Also lucky to be alive. Oh wait! Violet might be using Adilyn to draw in Jessica! Oh this is going to be bad!
  Mr. Gus: Nice to meet you. Looks like he lost his power, but I have a feeling he has a new opportunity in front of him. That is if they can find Sarah.
  Eric: Got to love him! That was great how he still had that guy's face in his hands. Glad he was able to come to terms with Mr. Gus, but to bad killing Sarah might not be an option now.
  Pam: Still the smart one. I am a little disappointed she got caught.
  Amber: Thanks for throwing up on your sister. I definitely like her more than Sarah. She has a good mouth on her.
  Sarah: I can't believe they won't kill her now! That lucky little ************! Maybe they can just get the cure from her, and then finish her off. And where did she run off to? Come back!
  Sookie: I said it! I told you all her plan was stupid, and wasn't going to end well. It led to Alcide's death, and now maybe Bill's. Good intentions, bad results! I do feel bad for her. Sad moment with her and Jessica watching Bill walk in. In happier news, Sookie won for my favorite line of the night when she said, "Some woodpecker is moving into my frontal lobe. It's like bam bam bam!" Honestly there weren’t many great lines this time around.
  Kapneck: Lawyer scum! You got what you deserved!
  Bill: Anyone else have a flashback to when Beetlejuice had to wait in that long line before getting his head shrunk? Poor Bill! The ups and downs Sookie has caused him. Yes, he is plenty to blame too. I'm guessing he never thought she would kill him. Then again she did stab Billith. Anyways, hopefully he gets the cure.
  Speaking of the cure, hurry up with it already! Find Sarah, and let's go! We only have 4 episodes to go! This might not end so badly after all! At least for anyone not in Violet’s way!

  HorrO

Comic-Con True Blood: Look Ahead Trailer
Comic-Con True Blood Panel: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Saturday, July 26, 2014

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES REVIEW



In the wake of a disaster that changed the world, the growing and genetically evolving apes find themselves at a critical point with the human race.

Starring: Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, and Andy Serkis

Directed by: Matt Reeves

Written by: Mark Bomback, Rick Jaffa, and Amanda Silver

  Fans have had plenty of gripes with remakes over the years, but there weren't many that had bad things to say about "Rise of the Planet of the Apes." It's a fantastic remake filled with plenty of its own originality. It tops the previous attempt at a remake by light years, but also sets the bar extremely high for any sequels to follow. Enter "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes," the sequel that tries to reach this bar while conquering many challenges on way.
   One of those challenges is creating memorable scenes, which it does right off the bat. It opens with an amazing scene of the apes swarming the forest before hunting down their next meal. Not all goes as Caesar (Andy Serkis) plans, as his son, Blue Eyes (Nick Thurston), finds himself face to face with another top predator. With some help, Caesar intervenes in order to save his son, while reminding the audience why they fell in love with him in the first place.
  This leads to another challenge they successfully meet, which is adding to Caesar’s legacy. Previously a human pet, he now has a son, and mate to take care of. He's the leader of the apes, who's responsible for setting the example of how this new ape society will act in the present, and future. While the previous movie shows his accession, this movie adds to his legacy by giving him a weakness that almost leads to his demise. He's put in a position where he almost has to start over again, and makes decisions that change the apes’ lives forever.
  Another challenge is to keep the human’s story alive without distracting too much from the apes. While the apes are working to establish a new way of life, the humans are fighting for their survival. A small group of humans led by Malcolm (Jason Clarke) gain permission from Caesar to work in ape territory. They do an excellent job of contrasting this small group of human’s story with what is happening within the ape society.
  Probably the most important challenge in this new franchise is recreating the powerful messages the original franchise delivers. Caesar tries to build the ape society by avoiding the mistakes he thinks the humans have made. However, because of his and other fellow apes exposure to humans, they are destine to follow in the human’s footsteps. The audience gets to see many human flaws appear in the apes, and how it changes their society.
  One of the key moments in the original series is when one of the apes breaks their society's most paramount rule, which is "ape not kill ape." The original series takes an interesting route in showing the ape that breaks this rule, and what happens to him afterwards. This movie takes it many steps further, as it shows an ape that totally goes overboard. He not only kills ape, but also endangers the lives of all of the apes. Continuing with the message theme, he displays many of the bad attributes power hungry humans get, which sometimes leads to changes in the course of history, as it does here.
  The original "Planet of the Apes" series should be required watching for everyone while growing up. It tells so many terrific, and important messages, almost forcing people to look in the mirror. The new franchise is heading right down the same path. "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is such a great movie on so many levels that it's almost hard to believe they could make another movie live up to its standards. Well believe it because "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" rises above all challenges, and meets the bar set by its predecessor. I give this movie the rare ranking of 5 pools of blood.

  HorrO

Rise of the Planet of the Apes Review

Monday, July 21, 2014

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 7 Episode 5



  So after several episodes of fighting off the sick vamps everyone seemed to exhale, and take a needed break. There was time to say goodbyes, while still looking forward to the future. That is for those that have a future, and didn't just screw it up. There wasn't much action, but it was certainly a night for change. Here are my thoughts on episode 5, "Lost Cause"
  Jackson: Let’s start this off with another goodbye to your son. I thought he was good for Sookie, and a lot of women watching thought he was good for them!
  Rev.: Sleeping on the job! Don't you know people get hurt when you do that!
  Tara's mom: Crazy! Crazy! Crazy! She needs to go to Michael Myers School! She's still not getting any sympathy from me.
  Willa: Got stabbed but what's new? Oh yea, she's free to do what she wants now. Not like she wasn't already doing that.
  Sam: Nice save, but I wouldn't have minded if those vamps put an end to Tara's mom.
  Nicole: I think I'll give the pregnant woman a pass!
  Andy: A man of his word. Congrats! I wonder if we get to see a wedding or something tragic happens first. Sorry, had to say it!
  Holly: Never were your biggest fan, but you have a good man. Take care of him before that something tragic happens!
  Adylin: Listen to Jason!
  Wade: Should have done it while you had the chance! No… that still would have been wrong!
  Arlene: And that is why Sookie saved you. I'm a little upset they didn't show you talking to Sam about the shifting rat thing. I guess she's got a vamp to worry about instead. I just don't see her with a vamp though.
  James: Shame on you! Everyone saw that coming! Say goodbye to Jessica!
  Lafayette: Naughty boy you! A good friend, and now a boyfriend stealer!
  Jessica: Don't worry about James. He was like a rebound guy! Did I really just say that? I need to go back to Michael Myers School too!
  Jason: Now that is a better vamp to be with. No coincidence that they hooked up, and Hoyt is coming back to town. Here comes the drama! Oh, and thanks for always pointing out the obvious Jason!
  Violent: I was shocked that she didn't break that door down and kill Jessica. She is going to get some mean revenge now.
  Ginger: She’s hilarious! All she wants to do is sleep with Eric, and he won’t do it. You’re such a tease Eric! Can’t you throw the girl a bone!
  Pam: Is anyone going to be surprised if I tell you she won for my favorite line of the night again? I should just name it my favorite Pam line of the night. To be fair, there were several good lines, and funny moments throughout the episode. However, I give it to Pam when she said, "Oh my God, I'm a Republicunt!"
  Eric: I couldn't be happier that we got at least one more moment where Eric tears someone apart. That moment made up for the lack of action in the episode. Man am I going to miss that. Too bad he let Sarah go though!
  Sarah: She's like the roach that doesn't die!
  Sookie: People hated her, now they love her. Just wait until more sick vamps return, and it will be her fault again. Lots of ups and downs for her in this episode and the season. Looks like she just might end up alone.
  Bill: I knew the flashbacks were just going to lead to a depressing end. While no one important died, it sure seemed that way when Bill saw that he was sick. I would have thought he would be more careful, but I guess there is no full proof way to stay safe. Except maybe drinking from Sookie that is!
  So we are now officially over the hump, and headed downhill to the end. Who lives and who dies? Who lives happily ever after? Not many in my opinion! Unless there is a last second vampire cure this isn't going to end well! So maybe there will be one! Oh I don't know! I'll think about and get back to you next week!

  HorrO

Monday, July 14, 2014

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 7 Episode 4



  That's right, no more bottles this week! I can't take it anymore. The episodes are depressing enough without another reminder that's it's over. Besides the continuing onslaught of depressing moments, we got a typical True Blood action scene, and got to see some old faces again. Some I'm happy to see, and others I'm glad they're gone. So here are my thoughts on episode 4, "Sick of Goodbyes."
  Pay phone: Yes, that was a pay phone that Sookie was using for those who don't know.
  Alcide's father: Sorry for your loss.
  Hoyt: I should have mentioned it last week, but I knew we would be seeing him again. Never been a huge fan of his, and I can't say I'm sorry for his loss.
  Arlene's children: I don't remember them being so grown up. Shows how much we get to see them.
  Holly: Proved to be useless again if it weren't for Sookie.
  Andy: Might have been even more useless than her in this episode.
  Jason: Had to be tough breaking the news to Hoyt, especially with Hoyt not remembering him. It will only get tougher when Hoyt comes back. And there was no way he was shooting Sam!
  Sam: Every time he changes back into a human in front of people I just want to laugh. It must be so weird for those people no matter how many times he does it. Not just because of the change, but the whole being naked thing. It might not be as weird for the ladies I guess.
  Jessica: Even a vamp has to eat. I was hoping her not healing was something to do with a cure, but so such for that. I guess they're just going to die off and that's it.
  James: Stop eyeing Lafayette!
  Lafayette: Good to see you do something important in this episode!
  Magister: How unpleasant to see you again! It didn't take long to remember why I'm glad he's not around anymore.
  Ginger: Who knew? I'm shocked that she played such an important role in Eric and Pam's lives. I thought she was just the stupid human that followed along. I can't believe she thought up the idea of Fangtasia, and got the famous shitty chair. Interesting to see how she had the hots for Eric from the start too.
  Pam: You idea stealer you! No shame in her game. Too bad I never walked into her video store. God I’m going to miss her!
  Eric: So nice to see you have returned. Shame you won't end up with Sookie. You were my next pick after Alcide. It's no fun having a weak Eric around though. So different than from how we know him to be. While he might not have his strength, he still has his mouth, which produced my favorite line of the night. He said, "Pam tells me you wrote a book in which you claim not to be an asshole anymore. Is this true Bill?" Maybe not the funniest line, but I loved how he said it. I also enjoyed him saying that he started an avalanche that killed a village!
  Willa: Calm down vamp!
  Angry mob: Also needed to calm down, but it's too late for that. I told you nothing good was going to become of them.
  Bill: Nope, not an asshole any more. I'm still not sold on him winning Sookie back, even with the competition dying off quickly. I like how they tried to bait you into thinking he might die, but didn't. Same with Eric. You got me with Alcide, but I won't buy either of them dying until we get to at least 3-4 episodes left.
  Arlene: Lucky to be alive! She couldn't die, she's a survivor! Plus I'm looking forward to seeing what she says the next time she sees Sam. Good thing Terry told her where to be.
  Terry: It was definitely nice to see him again. A good man, and a good spirit.
  Sookie: Talk about becoming numb to the world around her. She's gone from a weak little waitress to a strong fairy/human. She's on a mission to save everyone she can. Good to see she's finally gained some control over her life. I'm beginning to wonder how it ends for her.
  I always enjoy those blood-splattering scenes, and we got another one to end the night. I'm sure there are more to come, and more of our favorites will die. We will see more characters return, even for just a moment. Who do you want to see again? I’m down with the King! Oh and one bonus thought, anyone notice that Derek Mears was one of the vamps in Fangtasia? I missed it, but saw his name in the credits. I know, I cheated. Until next week!!!

  HorrO

Saturday, July 12, 2014

FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE CURSE OF JASON REVIEW



Starring: Jack Norman, Paul Arnone, Christy Faulker, and Nikki McGlossen

Written and directed by: Jack Norman and Brandon Prewitt

  Fan made movies based on horror icons like Jason, Freddy, and Michael are usually fun, and "Friday the 13th: The Curse of Jason" is just that. The first thing that stands out is the amount of carnage that takes place. Jason kills, and kills, and kills. It's almost like watching one of those highlight films of his best kills. As quickly as they introduce characters, those characters meet their maker.
  The audience gets to see Jason go from the hood to the famous mask. There is a mix of original scenes along with scenes similar to those in the franchise. This brings fans back to some of their favorite moments, while enjoying some new creative scenes. There is a memorable and hilarious scene between Jason, and a drunken camper. Of course it doesn’t end well for the camper! Revisit the Friday the 13th franchise today by watching "Friday the 13th: The Curse of Jason" on the Sunday Scares feature at PromoteHorror.com.

  HorrO

Monday, July 7, 2014

My Thoughts on True Blood Season 7 Episode 3



  It looks like every week they will be posting these pics with the bottles reminding us of how many episodes remain. What a depressing way to kick off the episode each week! They kind of make me want to sing, "10 bottles of Tru Blood on the wall, 10 bottles of Tru Blood. Take one down..." So before I finish my song, here are my thoughts on episode 3, "Fire in the Hole."
  Sarah: Should be dead! Looks like she will be hunted down one-way or the other… One season too late!
Sylvie: Just another girl that Eric couldn't save.
Eric: Let's go man! I mean vampire! Get up and kill Sarah already!
  Pam: So smart. Just when you thought she was going to walk away. Not only smart, but winner for my favorite line of the night again when she said, "I'm as big a fan of the French vagina as you are."
  Nan: Now there is a face I didn't think we would see again. We might see a few more before it's over. Ah, how I would so like to see the King one last time.
  Yakinomo Corporation Henchmen: Question is where were you last season? In the flashback you protected your interest, but you let the Tru Blood plant go to hell in the present. Going after Sarah now is too late! However, if Eric doesn't kill her, go right ahead and do it yourself.
  Willa: Homeless
  Tara's mom: Crazy
  Reverend: A good man. Kind of have a feeling it's not going to end well for him.
  Lafayette: Still not doing anything important.
  Jessica's Boyfriend: About to become a cheating ex-boyfriend.
  Adylin: Keeping Wade safe.
  Wade: Wants Adylin to do more than keep him safe.
  Jason: Too bad we will never get to see him with kids. I could only imagine some awesome episodes with him as a father.
  Andy: Yes, Jason would be like Andy when he became a father. That was fun!
  Violet: Wouldn't make a good mother. Anger issues for sure! At least she did one good thing last night.
  Miss Fortenberry: Jessica took Hoyt's heart and Violet took yours. You were so bitchy I thought maybe you didn't have a heart, but it looks like you had a big one. Oh well!
  Angry Mob: Told you nothing good comes of an angry mob. They are just getting good people, and themselves killed.
  Jessica: So again she's not healing! Very interesting. I wonder if this is going to lead to a cure, or just something bad for her. That would be a shame after she's finally got her act together.
  Matt: Wasn't as lucky as Jessica. Nice not knowing you!
  Sam: It was bird season, but he somehow escaped the bad aim of the mob. Funny how certain people have good aim and others don't.
  Arlene: Basically got the episode off.
  Holly: Or should I say Harry Potter? Looks like she escaped. Too bad she can't switch with Arlene.
  Bill: Interesting how we keep getting flashbacks about him, and his family life. Are they going to make a depressing end for him too, or a happy ending with Sookie?
  Sookie: How did that plan work out for you? Bill should have stopped it last week regardless of what she said. How was sitting there as vampire bait really going to work out? I guess you have to feel sorry for her because she just wanted to save everyone, and in turn hurt the one that meant the most to her (at the moment).
  Alcide: Boy do I feel bad for all the jokes about being in one scene. Now he will be in zero scenes unless there is a flashback. That totally surprised me too. I actually thought that scene was just going to end with Bill and Alcide arguing. I guess that answers how the door opens for Sookie and Bill one more time. RIP.
  Seriously now, how many people are going to be left in the end? Tara, and Alcide are the most important deaths so far amongst others. Some of the mob is surely going to get killed off. Eric is on death row unless there is a cure. Looks like Lafayette is the only one going out in style. So depressing... Back to "7 bottles of Tru Blood on the wall, 7 bottles..."

  HorrO

Thursday, July 3, 2014

THE PURGE: ANARCHY REVIEW



A young couple works to survive on the streets after their car breaks down right as the annual purge commences.

Starring: Frank Grillo, Kiele Sanchez, and Zach Gilford

Written and directed by: James DeMonaco

  12 hours to commit all the murder, and mayhem you want! Just imagine all of the chaos that could be created! It was such a great premise for "The Purge," but it ended up being more of a back-story for another home invasion movie. Audiences could only hope they would make a series of improvements in “The Purge: Anarchy.”
  Well audiences get improvements with the first being how this movie involves more characters from different areas of the city. Each brings a different perspective on the purge, and creates new angles in the story. There is a young white couple, an African American mother and daughter, and a guy who's out for revenge. Each has their own story line before they end up together, and on the streets.
  Yes, that's right, on the streets. The second improvement is the setting. This time around the characters aren't hold up in a house for most of the movie. They are in the worse place to be during the purge. They are forced to fight for survival, as there are several groups of people out there to exercise their right to purge.
  This creates probably the biggest improvement, which is injecting it with the aforementioned chaos. The series finally hits on the true idea of the purge. The audience gets to see plenty of action, death, and blood. People hunt down the group in cars, motorcycles, and on foot. They even throw in a surprise trap.
  The story in "The Purge" is simple, but audiences should be able to tell that they put more thought into improving the story this time around. It starts with the characters, setting, and chaos mentioned above, but there's more. There's something else going on in regards to the purge, and both the audience and characters are left to figure that out. There are also twists in the story, with some coming from the characters, and their decisions.
  Probably the only complaint comes when horror fans might get that "I have a feeling I've seen this before" moment. There comes a point in the story where they try to expand on the rich vs. poor idea they have been building to. As the scene unfolds, it takes fans back to the "Hostel" franchise. It's not a huge deal, but something worth mentioning.
  After the announcement of "The Purge: Anarchy" fans probably thought about "The Purge," and wondered if a sequel was necessary. In a rare occurrence, the second installment in this series is better than the original because of a series of improvements. Everything from the characters and their development, setting, creating chaos, and story is done right this time around. All of these improvements lead to a well-deserved 3 pools of blood.

  HorrO
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