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Monday, August 29, 2011


  “Burning down the house! Hold tight, wait til the parties over. Hold tight, were in for the nasty weather. There has got to be a way. Burning down the house!” Yea, burn witches burn! Oh sorry, just doing a little singing, and celebrating what is hopefully going to be the end of Marnie/Antonia. I guess it is time to get into my thoughts on episode 10, “Burning Down the House.”
  The house isn’t the only thing that is burning because the storylines are on fire. There are so many good scenes in this episode it is ridiculous. As you know, I was dying at the end of episode 9 so I was excited for this opening scene. Bill and Eric fighting is always fun. I have to say, Bill always comes prepared. Good thing he had that gun. And how about Nan getting dirty with a little blood splatter to the face… nice! Of course, she couldn’t do it without being annoying with the whole image thing.
  But Sookie stole everyone’s thunder when she blasted Eric. What a shoot! Knocked that spell right out of him. I didn’t see that coming, nor did I think Antonia would feel sorry for what she did. It is pretty cool how she made the sheriffs, Roy, and herself disappear. Something I did know was that Nan would make an issue out of not knowing what Sookie could do.
  This sparked one of several arguments that Nan had with Bill and company. The best was when they were all back behind bars, and silvered. Nan was passing out true deaths like Oprah passes out cars. Apparently Bill will get a special death. Then Eric and Pam. I wonder if Jessica gets one too… probably? She just wanted to kill, give a girl a break. I do have to question why Eric wasn’t silvered down to a bed considering he is the strongest of the bunch.
  And the witches, regardless of what Roy thinks, didn’t win anything. God, I can’t wait until he gets it. Lets sick Jessica on him! Antonia tried to rally the witches, but it was hard when she was losing faith as well. In probably the most interesting and unexpected scene of the night, Antonia’s spirit comes out of Marnie to have a heart to heart. I really didn’t expect to see another side of Antonia. There is actually some good in her. If I had to place a bet on who would win that argument, I would have bet on Antonia. Who knew Marnie could be so convincing? That was a great case she made. If she doesn’t get burned to death, maybe she can be a lawyer. Or maybe not, that might give them another reason to burn her.
  All right, time for a moment of silence for Tommy….
I, for one, have given him a hard time for some of his screw-ups, but if Sam can forgive him so can I. It was a sad scene, but also awkward. I don’t know if it was the conversation, his death, or just Alcide being there. He was kind of out of place, but it looks like he has taken a place by Sam’s side. I don’t remember the two really knowing each other before, but I guess they have formed an alliance. Good for the both of them. I can’t wait for them to take down the pack master!
  Continuing with depressing sights, Hoyt is a mess. He tries to be strong, but it is not happening according to Jason. How many beers did he have? And he farted? Like Sookie said, do we really need to know that? Just wait until he finds out what Jessica and Jason did in the pickup! It was funny how Hoyt wanted to stay with Jason, and then Jason turned around and wanted to stay with Sookie. It was like a game of musical houses.
  Then there is depressing Andy. It was surprising to see Terry take charge, and intervene in Andy’s troubles. As he showed, he has experience with these kinds of things, but we just haven’t seen him interact with characters besides Arlene in a while. They should change Fort Bellefleur into a rehab center. Of course that is after they remove all the weapons. That was great how he had all those guns hidden. Really adds to the meaning of Fort Bellefleur. Oh and the people of Bon Temps should feel real safe considering their sheriff can’t shoot a can!
  Enough with the depression let me talk about some fun stuff. This episode was full of great lines. So many that I’m not picking one favorite line of the week, all of the following were my favorite lines. First was Nan telling Bill, “What’s with your little dairymaid, and her lightening trick?” Then maybe not the specific line, but I was amused by Hoyt telling Jason that he had a beer for breakfast only to be followed by Jason sitting in his chair with a cooler of beers next to him. How lazy can you get? Someone get him a sponsorship with Miller Lite!
  Another good line was when Andy tried to convince Arlene and Terry that everything was ok because the tube of V has a “safety cap.” He followed that up with a great description of Terry when he said Terry was like an “insane squirrel.” It didn’t stop there, as Terry thought Andy was an “Iraqi insurgent” when he would come to visit him there. And don’t even get me started with the whole knitting thing! I also enjoyed it when Jason asked what was on Jesus’ face, and Lafayette responded in such a great way, “it’s a Latin thing.”
  Opps that is getting ahead of myself. Let me get back to the serious stuff, and rewind to when Sookie and Jason fill in Lafayette and Jesus on what the vampires plan to do. This set the stage for a crazy ending. Jesus thought he had it all figured out when he came up with the plan to try to talk Marnie into fighting Antonia’s spirit. That was too easy, and we found out that was the case when it turned out Marnie wanted to kill the vamps just as much as Antonia. At that point, I was really curious how that was going to turn out.
  The four of them end up outside of the witches’ store with a plan destine to fail. Jesus makes it half way there when he is stopped by a force field. Damn, witches can do that? I need to learn that spell. How nice would that be to put around the house, car, or even myself? As soon as he hit the shield, Antonia came out to greet him.
  In order for her to trust him, he would have to walk through the shield. Besides shocking Jesus, this set up some interesting stuff. First was the mask that appeared on his face as he struggled through the shield. Once inside, Antonia points out that he has an inner demon. That doesn’t sound good to me. On top of that she points out that Lafayette has a gift. Good witch bad witch battle? Still hoping!
  Then Jesus finally gets to speak to Marnie, and quickly finds out what we all ready knew… she is nuts! She is so happy to tell him about the power that flows through her, and how she has formed a union with Antonia. She then wants to show him her pet vamps. I like how she tells him she can make them do anything including going to the beach. As they were looking at the pets, Holly and Tara were making a spell to get out of there. The shield drops, and they run outside. Sookie and Lafayette make the mistake of running towards them, as Antonia lifts the shield back up and zaps the four of them back inside. I guess it pays off that Jason is a step slow.
  But have no fear because the X-Men are here! No wait… have no fear because the A-Team is here! Not them either… then who are they? What did you say… Bill, Eric, Pam, and Jessica in the Mystery Machine? Oh, no Mystery Machine! All right, well the four of them arrive ready to do battle with the witches, and leave me hanging for the second week in a row. Ahh! How can you leave me with the sight of them, even in the ridiculous tight black outfits, holding weapons pointed at the store? Come on now, I thought we discussed this last week.
  Since episode 7, this might be the best series of episodes of True Blood ever. I had fun with last season, but this is out of hand at this point. With only two episodes left, I don’t see how they are going to finish off some of these storylines so quickly. Maybe there will be a big cliffhanger for next season. I mean, I know there will be one, but maybe it will be something outrageous! Enough all ready, back to my singing. Be thankful you can’t hear me, but if you want to sing along, here is the music from the end of the episode:


Monday, August 22, 2011


  Last week ended with a bang, and left high expectations for this week. I was even more curious about this week’s episode after seeing the promo that basically showed nothing about this episode. While this was another great episode, it had some disappointments for me. Nothing bad, just me being me, and wanting storylines to go one way when they went the other way. And to think last week I thought True Blood was writing to make me happy… huh! So here are my thoughts on episode 9, “Run.”
  There was some disappointment right off the bat. Alcide was running with Sookie, and Bill literally snatched her from his arms. Damn you Bill! You couldn’t let Alcide have a moment with Sookie. Oh well, I guess it didn’t matter after all because Eric was the only person on her mind. That pissed off Alcide, and he went running back to his pack. God we were so close to Sookie and Alcide having a moment. Speaking of God, I thought it was interesting how Bill says the only thing they could do is pray, and then Alcide reminds him they are a wolf, and vamp. Bill then questions who will listen to their prayers.
  I have to say, I’m still happy to see my idea in use (yes my idea). Antonia proves to the other witches that she has full control of Eric. It was pretty funny how she told him to go wash up. One thing I didn’t expect was the other witches turning on Antonia. You all know I’m not a fan of Holly, but maybe I misjudged her. Of all of them, I would have thought she would have stuck by Antonia’s side. Now Roy is her right hand man, which is perfect because it will be nice to see a vampire get a hold of him. No one will care if he dies.
  Jessica crying in front of Nan was entertaining. At first, I thought it was Pam. No difference because both have little patience for Jessica crying. I liked how Nan pointed out that this is why she doesn’t make vampires. I don’t know why, but I liked seeing Nan with the silver on her. Someone needs to put her in place, even if it was for her own good. Thinking she knows everything. The ending proved she knows nothing.
  Ok time for another disappointment, sort of. I didn’t notice it from the flashback, but Hoyt apparently lives where Mavis lived. She welcomed herself back home by kicking Hoyt out, leading to Jason, V addict Andy, Arlene, and Terry converging on the outside of the house. Cops around there don’t handle hostage situations too well. Arlene made the smartest move calling in Jesus. He was the only one that could understand what was really going on.
  I liked how we found out more about Mavis, and what happened to her. It is a sad story that ended in peace for her. Now that she moved on my disappointment sets in. I was expecting some crazy, and scary stuff to happen with the baby, but is that it? Was the baby doing all those weird things because of Mavis, or is there more? Did they do all of this to lower our guard for something bigger to come from the baby? I will be disappointed if that is it, but I’m willing to see if there is more to come before passing an ultimate judgment on this storyline.
  The lady in red… naughty Sookie. Now that she has a fresh batch of Bill’s blood flowing through her, she can dream of both of them. I’m sure all of you that have been enjoying her dreams with Eric were ready for another one until Bill popped up. Was it disappointment for you? True Blood sure has been hot and heavy over the last few weeks. How about Bill and Eric biting her at the same time? I guess you have to be a fairy in order to handle two vamps at once.
  I don’t know if what Tommy did was honorable, or just plain dumb. Was he trying to score some points with Sam? To start off, I was kind of surprised to see him at the bar. Of course when trouble, Marcus, presented himself, Tommy just couldn’t help it. He had to go get his ass beat. It was interesting how they showed what Sam was doing at the same time. I’m sure he would have rather been doing that, but I like he pointed out to Marcus, been there done that.
  Like I have said from the beginning, Marcus is a joke of a pack master. How can you be a pack master when you need the six-foot plus Alcide to hide behind? I won’t expect Alcide to be pack master because that means he won’t be with Sookie. He can’t do both. Maybe after he is done with her.
  Who he should be done with is Debbie. That snake, or in this case wolf, in the grass. For a second there, she actually fooled me too. I should have known better. Sookie is cautious, but is always willing to give people a chance. I couldn’t believe it when she told Antonia that Sookie was in the back. It was a bad plan anyway. How could Sookie think that would work? I was kind of hoping she would use her fairy hand blasting power again, but it helps to have a friend on the inside too. A real friend, unlike Deb, who should have stayed at home, and watched more Cheaters.
   People should have real friends, like Jason. What better friend to have than one that sleeps with your ex? I can’t hate on Jason. He can’t help it with all of Jessica’s blood in him. Hell, Hoyt should have never sent him over there with the monster box. I think Hoyt will figure out what is going on eventually. He should know what happens to people when they drink vampire blood.
  Let me squeeze in my favorite line of the week before getting to the ending. I almost thought my favorite line was going to be a written line for the first time ever. I really liked the monster box thing. Then Jason almost had it when he said, “when you guys, ugh, role play, does Lafayette ever turn into a woman called Mavis?” Maybe the line isn’t that funny, but rather Jason thinking that Jesus and Lafayette role-play is funny. While there were several good lines in this episode, Sookie wins again. At this point, she will probably be the champion of my favorite lines for this season. My favorite line is when she says, “For a badass werewolf, you drive like a girl.” I’m a sucker for driving insults.
  One of the reasons the last two episodes were so great were the endings. They left us with all the drama of Jessica about to open the door and her certain death, and Jason fighting to get there in time in episode 7. Episode 8 left us with a battle between witches and vamps leading to Sookie getting shot. Both great endings but I was more interested in the action than the drama, so the endings were fine with me.
  Enter the ending of episode 9. It was getting really good when Eric led the sheriffs upstairs only for Antonia to take control of them as well. Wait, I just had a thought, anyone know how many vampires she can control a one time? Interesting possibilities, but back to the point. Then the sheriffs kill members of Bill’s security team for everyone to see. Things were getting real good. Chaos erupts as the humans run for their lives when the sheriffs jump into the crowd.
  I was getting all excited when I saw bodies flying through the air. Then Eric appeared, and it was go time! It was going to be so good and then… and then… and then… next week! Ah, now I truly know how some of you felt with the previous two endings. How could they leave me hanging like that? I was so ready for the action. Bill and Eric at it again, and humans being killed left and right. A whole week, really? And then you tease me with the promo!
  Oh well, at least the next episode will open with a bang. Even though I was disappointed with how certain things turned out, this was still a good episode. I’m not sure it beats the previous one, but True Blood is on a terrific roll heading into the finale. I can’t believe there are only three episodes left. There is so much ground still to cover. I can’t even guess what the finale will be like at this point!


Wednesday, August 17, 2011


  Here we go with another remake. I’m not sure if I like reviewing them because some people take the original to heart, and get easily insulted if you like the remake. I try to take each movie for what it has to offer, and not let the fact that it is a remake cloud my judgment. So that brings me to Fright Night 3D. Let me talk a little about this movie before getting into the question that everyone wants to know.
  Charley (Anton Yelchin) is a just a teenager trying to survive high school. Once more of a nerd, he has now hooked up with a popular girl, and is hanging out with the cool teens. Life is good except he can’t shake his nerdy past, and more specifically his ex-best friend, Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). Ed is convinced that there is a vampire, who has killed one of their friends, living in the neighborhood. Charley tries to ignore Ed’s warnings, but eventually becomes suspicious about his new neighbor, Jerry (Colin Farrell). Maybe life isn’t good after all.
  Let me get right to my only real complaint about this movie, which is the 3D. While the 3D is effective and fun in Final Destination 5, it is a detriment to Fright Night. It is too distracting, and makes some scenes look awkward. There are some scenes where it is clearly forced upon the audience instead of being in the natural flow of the movie. The only 3D effect that really looks good is the ash and sparks floating in the air, which happens to be one of the only nice 3D effects in Priest too. This is one of those movies that 3D just isn’t necessary.
  The movie has a good mixture of humor and action. The first half of the movie might lean a little more on comedy, while the second half is more about the action, but overall it works. There is nothing out right hilarious, but there is plenty of entertainment, particularly from Ed, and the vampire killer Peter Vincent (David Tennant). If you’re trying to add a little humor to your movie, casting Christopher Mintz-Plasse seems like a good choice. When he appears in his first scene people laugh before he even says anything. I’m not that familiar with David, but he does a great job with his very unusual character. Actually, his character reminds me a lot of Russell Brand, and I’m not sure if that is a good thing, or not!
  Christopher and David aren’t the only ones that do a good acting job, as the acting is strong all around. Casting Colin as a vampire was somewhat concerning, but he does an excellent job. Jerry is a strange vampire at times, and Colin makes him seem ever bit as strange. When it comes time to be evil, Colin nails that as well. Anton does a good job of playing a teen that isn’t sure who he wants to be, and having to protect his girlfriend Amy (Imogen Poots) and his mother from a creature he doesn’t fully understand.
  While the 3D effects are poor, they do a terrific job with Jerry’s vampire face. When he gets really mad, his face kind of puffs up, and a huge mouth full of sharp teeth appear. It is kind of shocking because it sort of comes out of nowhere the first time it happens. They also do a good job with the action. One of the more intriguing scenes is when Charley, Amy, and mother think they are safe inside the house, but Jerry has a way of working around the need for an invitation.
   And now to address the question everyone wants to know: how does it compare to the original? From everything you just read you might be able to guess what I’m going to say. Overall, the remake doesn’t do the original any injustice. The remake uses the original as a guide, but has plenty of good things going for it. The original gets to the conflict between Jerry and Charley a little quicker, but isn’t as funny.
  One of the major differences in the two movies is the Peter Vincent character. In the original, he is a well-dressed older man, and like I mentioned above, he is Russell Brand in this movie. It is clear to see that they try to top how Jerry’s face looks in this movie, and they successfully do so. The remake digs a little further into who Charley is, and the internal conflict that causes. The only conflict he has in the original is convincing people that Jerry is a vampire. Also, the remake is a little more creative with the final sequence between Jerry and Charley.
   Obviously being a remake some people will pass on this movie. Really, the only thing they should pass on is seeing it in 3D. It follows the general storyline line of the original, but it becomes its own movie with a good mix of humor and action. There are some differences, but that just adds to the entertainment. The acting is great, including a surprisingly terrific performance by Colin. I hope I don’t insult any fans of the original when I give this movie 3.5 pools of blood.

Monday, August 15, 2011


  So remember a couple of weeks ago when I was, lets say, making a few complaints about the show. Maybe mentioned how episode 6 was a let down. Then they hit us with episode 7, which was a very good episode. So good, I didn’t think they could top that this season until probably the season finale. Well, so much for that because last night’s episode was insane! So here are my thoughts on episode 7, “Spellbound.”
  I really want to skip to the ending, but I’ll have some patience, and talk about how we got there first. This episode had it all, an action packed ending proceeded by plenty of drama starting with Jessica opening the door. That scene was really well done last week, and they continued the drama as Jason tackles Jessica to prevent her from leaving. It didn’t take long for Jessica to gain control, and turn against him. Thank God witches can’t chant forever. If Tara isn’t in a screwed up relationship, then Jason has to be. It is like some unwritten rule, and that is what is about to happen with Jessica.
  It didn’t take long for Jason to change from hero to comedian. That was a great attempt at a vampire list of nice things to think about. Even better was the look Bill was giving him. I really like how Jason was trying to be slick with Bill. I won’t tell on you if you don’t tell on me. Sorry Jason, Bill knows what he is doing.
  So you want more drama, and some romance. Well, you got plenty of that from Sookie and Eric. Actually, I got more of Eric than I wanted to see, ugh! Yes, I know Sookie was naked too! To me, that whole bath scene was just weird. It was like they were stoned out. Snowing in the shower, and then a bed in the middle of the snowing forest. Mixing vampire, and fairy blood apparently makes some good shit!
  I’m sure our good friend Andy would like some of that. Hell, he was about to eat a dead vampire. I’m sure no one wanted to see that except for say…me. Nice and disgusting! He has become such a desperate man. I’m not sure where they are going with his character. He has played more important roles in previous seasons, but they seem to be just dragging him along this season.
  Speaking of being a drag, sort of, Tommy broke into Mrs. Fortenberry’s house to steal her clothes. I was kind of confused by this at first, but then his plan became clear at the bar. He thought he would out smart the guy, but think again. Like some of the characters, Tommy just has no luck. I wonder what he will do next. That money isn’t going to get him much.
  I thought one of the interesting things they did in this episode was to have the characters act in a way that don’t usual act. Of course, that was because they really weren’t themselves. Mrs. Fortenberry can be somewhat odd, and harsh, but not as crazy as what Tommy displayed. When she was barking out her order to Arlene, she looked like a roaster gone wild.
  Then there was Lafayette sucking in the spirit. You know I was waiting for that storyline since last week, and it continues not to disappoint. His reaction to the lady singing to the baby in the kitchen was great, but even better when she appeared at his house. It was good to see some background on her story, but we still aren’t sure what Arlene’s baby has to do with it. The connection has to be more than just the doll. This storyline is just killing me!
  And Hoyt, who might not have physically, or spiritually changed characters, but was complete opposites in his two scenes. They really had me going in that first scene. It was kind of weird how he got on his knees, and just wouldn’t stop talking about dying. As soon as Jessica turned on him the illusion was over. It was crazy to see her just slam his head against table.
  Too bad for Jessica he wasn’t more like that in real life. He was really pissed at her. You knew he would be upset, but I would have expected him to fall somewhere in between those two extremes. He was just plain old mean to her. I wonder if this sparks some kind of change in him, and maybe he joins in the protests against vamps. And how about Jessica, two for two in getting your invitations rescinded. I just love when that happens.
  Sorry Sam, I just don’t have time to mention much about your run in with the pack master (whatever). I just hope the showdown between shifter and wolf is a good one. Let me get my favorite line of the week out of the way so that I can talk about the ending already. There were a lot more funny moments in this episode, particularly anytime Jason was around. The pack master almost won with his comment about Sam playing with Barbie’s by himself, but the winning line goes to Sookie once again. It was kind of the moment, and she couldn’t have done it without Bill and Eric. Eric nods his head and says, “my liege,” and then Sookie looks around, rolls her eyes, and says, “my… Bill.”  Bill almost wants to laugh, and Eric turns to look at her. The awkwardness was just too great.
  Finally, the ending! For those that read my thoughts from last season and I believe I even mentioned it at least once this season, you know I have been waiting for an “epic battle.” Last year I waited for a great wolf vs. vamp match up, and we never really got one, at least not one that satisfied me. Well, this season presented the opportunity for an “epic” witch vs. vamp battle. I will have to think about it some more as far as being “epic,” but I will take it. Consider yourself off the hook True Blood.
  True Blood really went out of the way to please me with this ending scene. Yes, it is all about me. I got to see Eric revert back to his old ways, and just rip the heart right out of that witch. Later he is chewing on another witch. All good stuff, and Tara even got in the act when she shot a vamp. I was hoping for something like that to happen last week. I just love when a vamp explodes, and blood goes everywhere.
  It was very interesting to see Sookie and Tara on opposite teams. You could almost see it coming. It would have been even more interesting if they crossed paths in the heat of the moment, but I guess I will have to settle with Pam. I completely understand Pam’s frustration. I know they aren’t killing off Tara, but why did Bill have to go and ruin the fun. By the way, Pam is looking more dead again.
 Opportunity knocked, and in came Alcide (Mr. Two Segments no longer.) I didn’t think it would happen that fast, nor did I know how it was going to happen, but we got Alcide to the rescue. Poor Sookie got shot, and there was nothing Bill, or Eric could do about it. Alcide came running to her rescue just like what Jason did for Jessica last week. I guess there is something about a guy running to the save the day. And the best was Deb having to watch it all. She can go play with the pack master. This is the next step for Sookie and Alcide (hopefully).
  And what about Eric you say. Just like I mentioned last week, I didn’t understand why Antonia wouldn’t want to control some of the vamps to help her get rid of them. Well, apparently my plan sounded good to her because Eric is now her pet, and not Sookie’s. This is another interesting turn of events because it creates another way for Eric and Bill to be on opposite sides. It continues their rivalry after it seemed like they would finally be friends.
  The ending was so good it could have been a season finale. You know what that means; I’m going to have high expectations when the finale comes around. Until then, we have next week to wait for. Anyone notice what a secretive promo they showed for episode 9. They showed nothing but Alcide and Bill trying to save Sookie, and nothing about the other characters. That is unusual, and gets me excited for next week. I kind of like not knowing much about it. I just know they raised the bar with the last two episodes, so they better have something good for us.


Sunday, August 14, 2011

HorrO's Gory Reviews 2 Year Anniversary

  August marks the 2 Year Anniversary of HorrO’s Gory Reviews. I thought year 1 went by pretty fast, but year 2 might have gone faster. It has been quite a task keeping up the site, but I have enjoyed every step of the way. It has kept me up to date on the world of horror while keeping everyone else updated. I have seen movies I might not have otherwise seen, and talked to people that I might not have otherwise talked to.
  Going back to the beginning, the site started off mostly being reviews, and a few pictures. Then I added a schedule of movies coming to theaters, DVD releases, and polls. That was back in the days when things were easy. Then I started my first page, the Horror Item of the Week. It has gone from one page to nine. The page I have had the most fun with is the Horror on TV page. It always gets me ready to view some of my favorite TV shows, and made me write about shows like True Blood and The Walking Dead.
  The pages have been a bonus, but the reviews are the centerpiece. Some are easier than others to write, which is probably why some have come out better than others. I would like to think my reviews have gotten better over time, but that is for you to decide. Besides movies, I have also had fun writing about other things like conventions. For the second time, I wrote about Florida SuperCon, and plan to bring you more of my adventures at Spooky Empire, and Halloween Horror Nights in October.
  Obviously, I wouldn’t be doing all of this if it weren’t for all my friends on Twitter, Facebook, and Blogger. I’m thankful for all the friends I have made. We have had so many great conversations about horror movies, and a whole bunch of other topics. A thank you goes out to everyone that has taken at least one-second of his or her time to check out my site. I really appreciate it, and hope that I have been able to entertain you in some way.
  I have to take a moment to thank a few specific people for their friendship, and continued support. On Twitter, some of my long time followers @fearshop, @FreddysFingers, @sunshinesarah2, @LesQuikG @_SidVicious_,  @missjuly, @classynfun1 @mrblue24, @ReelyBored, @zombiejourno, @wiccanz, and @twistedcentral. On Facebook, some of my friends Di Davidson-Amadi, Jennifer Dorris, SawManiac Ahmed, Ted Morehart, Richard Ewell, and Lola Sandoval. On Blogger, Nebular, Dr. Blood, Fritz “Doc” Freakenstein, and The Film Connoisseur. An extra special thank you goes out to my editor. I couldn’t have done all of this without you.
  To start off the next year of HorrO’s Gory Reviews, I have decided to let you in on a little secret, and have a special announcement. Some of you might already know this or figured it out, but I have never really publicly said it before. If you have seen me tweet, or facebook about The Dog Days in Zombieville, that is because it is the story I have written, and have been tweeting and blogging for a long time now. For those that have seen it, I hope you have enjoyed the journal, as there is more to come. For those that haven’t, please check it out at
  And now for the announcement. 2 years and 2 websites can only mean that I need to make it 3 for 3. So without further ado, I bring you… Click here

Thanks again,


Thursday, August 11, 2011


  I was going to put a spoiler alert with this review, but I think you know how the story goes by now. It is probably why some people won't be watching it. Like Saw, some people have gotten tired of seeing this franchise use the same formula over and over, and gave up on it a couple of sequels ago. Unlike others, I have taken the franchise for what it is, and have enjoyed them. There aren’t too many movies out there where the audience gets to see the characters die in two different ways. So did I finally get tired of more of the same, or is it enjoyable one last time?
  Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto), Molly (Emma Bell), Peter (Miles Fisher), and several others get on a bus to go on a company retreat. The bus travels onto a large bridge that is currently under construction. Sitting alone in his seat, Sam looks out of the window, and watches the construction take place. Then he has a terrible vision of the bridge collapsing killing his friends, and himself in the process. Because of the vision, Sam and some of his friends are lucky enough to survive the bridge actually collapsing. Unfortunately for them, this does not go over well with Death.
  The movie wastes little time in reminding the audience that it is in 3D. The entire opening credits are a series of glass getting shattered by different objects. Of course, the glass and all of these objects are coming right off the screen, which is pretty cool. It beats most of the boring opening credits in other movies. However, I don’t think I read many of the credits, but who really does anyway?
  The highlight of all the Final Destination movies is always the tragedy that happens early on. This time it is a collapsing bridge, and the scene doesn’t disappoint. There is a good combination of bloody, and painful deaths with a little 3D thrown in. It will make you think twice about crossing a bridge that is under construction, and is definitely a recipe for disaster. Not taking away from the other deaths in the scene, but my favorite death in that scene is the first one (ouch).
  Sam, Molly, Peter, and some of the other’s escape from Death are only short lived. Bludworth (Tony Todd), the local coroner, warns them that Death will still want the lives that it is now missing because they cheated Death. It is always good to see Tony, even though he plays a small role, because it brings back memories of Candyman! Also, he is the only one who could actually act worth a damn in this movie. The Final Destination franchise has never been one for top-notch acting, and this movie is no different. They always try to put the actors in dramatic moments only to have them fail. They should stick to being scared, and dying. Did anyone else think Miles is trying to give his best Tom Cruise impersonation?
  All right, back to the meat of this movie. The first few deaths are really creative, and do a great job of building tension. Following the order of deaths from Sam’s vision, Peter’s girlfriend, Candice (Ellen Wroe), is the first to die. As far as tension in the movie, this scene stood out all because of one little screw. She is a gymnast, who is practicing one of her routines on the balance beam, when a screw happens to fall, and lands perfectly on the beam (only Death could stick that landing). She continues her routine dancing all around the screw. The audience was on the edge of their seats, as if they were about to step on that screw. I will leave it up to you to see how the scene ends, but it gets my approval.
  While there are some characters that you might not want to see die, there are others that you just can’t feel sorry for. That is the case with one of the more unusual characters, Isaac (P.J. Byrne). He is a nerdy looking guy, who can’t help but hit on any woman that crosses his path. He finds himself at an oriental spa, where he is on a table expecting to get a massage from a beautiful oriental woman. Instead, he gets one from an older woman in what becomes one of the funnier scenes of the movie. It is all fun and games until he is left alone in the room, and Death becomes his masseuse. There is plenty of blood, and even a nice blood splattering 3D ending.
  As the movie moves on, the survivors learn that they could kill someone to replace their death, and gain that person’s years of life. It is a little added piece to the Final Destination formula, which gives the plot a little life, but takes something away from the deaths. It becomes a fight between the last few survivors, and gets away from the accidental looking deaths. There is still some tension, but having them try to kill each other isn’t the creativity seen in some of the previous death scenes. They really blow an opportunity to do something interesting in the restaurant’s kitchen.
  The end of this movie is full of surprises. For true fans of the franchise, the ending might bring a smile to your face. As usual, it took me a second to figure it out, but they make it pretty clear what is happening. They do an excellent job of popping this up out of nowhere, and letting Death finish its job. And when the movie ends, there is an awesome montage of all the deaths in the previous movies. Again, bringing smiles to fan’s faces, but it kind of makes me think this could mark the end of the franchise. 
  3D kicked some life back into the franchise in the fourth movie, ultimately leading to this fifth movie. They do a really good job of using traditional 3D action to put the audience right in the middle of the deaths. There is plenty of blood and tension with some pretty creative deaths early on. As expected, there isn’t award-winning acting, but there is a surprise ending to the movie, and maybe the franchise. Overall, anyone who has stuck with the franchise this long should enjoy this movie, so I give it 3 pools of blood.


Monday, August 8, 2011


  Last week's episode, which I thought was going to be the best yet, had too much talking. Enter episode 7, and it was time for some action. It didn't disappoint because this was the episode I thought we were going to get last week. I guess I was one week too early. So here are my thoughts on episode 7, “Cold Grey Light of Dawn.”
  First let me get this out of the way... woooo!!!! Ok, there is plenty to talk about but I have to start with Arlene's baby. I can't believe Lafayette saw that lady standing behind him. The baby stills sees her, and now so does Lafayette. Did she really say that she is his mommy? I'm totally clueless now. I think I'm throwing out my whole Holly theory, and Arlene should throw out her ex-boyfriend theory. There is something else going on here and I can't wait for it to be revealed.
  Now that I got my excitement for that moment out of the way, let me go back to where all the action begins. Actually the episode starts off with a plug for the iPad, and I think the game is Plants vs. Zombies? Good to see Apple, and zombies rule in Bon Temps as well. Antonia wants to rule too, as she gets Luis to help her escape. It is interesting to see her control a vampire because vampires are usually the ones controlling others. It kind of makes me wonder why she wouldn’t want to control more vamps to help carry out her plans.
  Those plans were made clear to Bill when Luis tries to kill him. In his last breath, Luis mentions “resurrection.” This might not mean much to us, but Bill got the message loud and clear. He sets a plan in motion for some vamps to evacuate, and others to be tied down in silver. Call me slow, but like his sheriffs, I didn’t get the plan at first. However, it didn’t turn out to be a bad plan for most vamps. I guess that is why Bill is in charge.
  The action was so fast and furious that I can’t say I really had a favorite line of the week. Instead I’m going to make it my favorite character of the week, and the winner is Pam. While Pam’s moments in this episode are mostly short, she makes the most of them. She might be rotting, but that didn’t stop her from kicking some ass. It was awesome to see her holding Tara up in the air, and even funnier when those people thought she was a zombie. Too bad she didn’t kill Naomi. I thought it was time for the show to have a nice bloody kill, and Naomi would have done it.
  Then Pam had the rot literally ripped right off of her. That was great, and truly disgusting. I’m not a make up expert, but they have done a good job with the whole rotting thing. I can’t believe of all people, she went pink. She looked like a bad CGI pink Smurf, or maybe how the Ghostbusters looked in part 2 after swimming in the slim. Covered in a silver net, she might be better off dead.
  It was good to see Mr. Two Segments got an early appearance this time. Too bad for him that meant seeing Sookie and Eric still getting it on in the forest. Too bad for me that meant he would still be with Deb. What a whiner! Oh I’m so worried that you love Sookie. That’s right; he wishes he were on top of Sookie and not Eric. All it will take is one slip up by Deb, and Alcide is out the door. I can’t wait!
  I said this episode was full of action, and Sookie and Eric kept that action hot and heavy. It was from the forest to the front entrance, from the living room to the bedroom. Did they miss a room? I hope that satisfies all of you that are happy that Sookie and Eric finally had their moment. It has been a long time coming, but will it be short lived? They talk a lot about what will happen if Eric gets his memory back. It seems like they are going to milk that possibility for all they can get. I also have to say, I know Bill felt awkward walking into Sookie’s house, and I felt quite awkward for him as well.
  Also feeling awkward were Sam, and Luna when they found out what Tommy did. Sam went from that awkward feeling to being pissed off. I said the brothers Merlotte would be back at each other’s throat, and that is exactly what Sam did. For a second, I really thought he was going to kill Tommy. Instead, Tommy got off easy, and Sam told him to leave once again. Can they just decide what they want to do with Tommy once and for all?
  One of the reasons why I like this episode so much is the chaos at the end. Once the witches start chanting, it is all down hill. The scenes change quickly, as we get to see what is happening to several characters. You can almost start feeling the same tension the vamps do as they start wanting to walk out into the sun. It is so weird hearing them call for it. I liked how they even threw in a funny moment, as Mrs. Fortenberry sees here neighbor burn in the sun. She knew her neighbor was a vamp, and I knew she was going to say that.
  Jason goes to Sookie’s basically for the purpose of finding out what is about to happen, and start his marathon run. It was exciting and really pushed for the dramatics of the moment, but did anyone else wonder why he didn’t take his cop car? I know he is an athlete, but is it really that short a distance from Sookie’s house to Bill’s? Or could he run extra fast because he has a little panther in him after all? Oh, and thank you for not putting Jason in BED for one episode!
  Of all the vamps to get out of the chains, you would think Eric would be the one, but they clearly set it up to be Jessica. Leave it to her to get in trouble again. Just as Jason’s sprit to the house is dramatic, so is Jessica’s escape. It is really interesting to see that since they were under a spell, Bill couldn’t command Jessica to do what he was saying. That may come into play somewhere down the line.
  I guess you could say Jess making it to the door, and Jason coming to her rescue is more evidence that the two are about to merge. I didn’t notice it the first time, but if you watch the ending again, listen for a gunshot. True Blood is good about hiding noises in the background that you might miss. Just like there was no shot at Bill really killing Eric, there is little chance that Jessica really dies. It still is a pretty awesome scene that makes me wonder what Antonia has in store for the vamps now that Bill has outsmarted her.
  For me, this is probably the best episode since the season premiere. The second episode isn’t bad, but this episode is a winner in my books. It might have lacked some of the usual funny lines, but made up for that in a big way with all the action. As you might be able to tell, the action is usually what I’m looking for. I think there will be plenty more as the witches and vamps face off in round 2!

Friday, August 5, 2011


  So here is a movie that I was really excited to see. I'm a fan of the original series, and think the ending to the first one is amazing. I know some people might hesitate to give this movie a chance because they didn't like the first remake. Even though I thought the remake was all right, it never really had a chance to be as epic because most people already knew how it would end. The question for this reboot is: could it be closer to epic like the original, or just another failed attempt at greatness?
  Will (James Franco) is a scientist, who is trying to develop a drug to cure/treat brain degenerating diseases. He has been testing a drug on some apes, and seems to have finally found some success on an ape called Bright Eyes. Before they can do further testing on her, she escapes, is killed, and the project is put on hold. All of Will's work seems to be for nothing except for the discovery of something Bright Eyes left behind... a baby ape!
  For those of you that read my reviews and know me, you know that I'm a man of action. I like my movies to be action packed, and have little patience for too much story telling. Much of the first half of this movie follows Caesar (baby ape), as he grows up in Will's care. I could have very easily gotten bored and annoyed with the story telling here, however I became quickly enamored with the story of Caesar.
  While there are some subplots in this movie, there is no doubt that it all about “Caesar”. They show him at different stages of life, and how he becomes wiser with age. The audience gets to see this in his actions, and from Will documenting Caesar's development. He grows up as any normal child would, wanting to play, but also learning. It is really fun watching him swing around the house, but a bit sad watching him not being able to play out in the world, and with other children.
  What is really effective as a subplot is the story of Will's father, Charles (John Lithgow). He appears to have been a great man, but Alzheimer’s has slowed him down. Of course, this is the reason why Will is so passionate about his work at the lab. The audience gets to see a great contrast between a man, whose brain is failing, and an ape, whose brain is advancing every day. Seeing the two of them go in different directions is pretty emotional, as they form a bond that ultimately gets Caesar in trouble.
  Caesar eventually gets taken away from Will, and put with his own kind. If the audience didn’t feel sorry enough for Caesar before, they do now. He struggles as any child would who has been taken away from his parents. He misses Will, and has a difficult time dealing with apes that still have that primal instinct that he has lost growing up in the human world. The situation that Caesar finds himself in is very interesting. He could just wait it out and hope to return to a life with Will, become just another ape, or actually help out members of his own species.
  When he gets locked up, the audience finally gets to meet some other primates that became a stable of the original Planet of the Apes franchise. There is a gorilla named Buck, whose strength matches Caesar’s intelligence. There is an orangutan named Maurice, who seems to be naturally wise. Along with several other apes, they all join Caesar’s side, and the memories of the original franchise really come to light. Also, it is very interesting how they use Bright Eyes as the name of the ape that became the first of its kind (intelligence wise) in this movie. If you remember in the original movie, Bright Eyes is the name that is given to Taylor, who is the first of his kind (intelligence wise) in that movie. 
  From about this point on, the action that I’m always looking for really begins to pick up. The apes kind of go “ape shit,” as the rise of the planet of the apes begins. The action in the final scenes really put the finishing touches on the movie. It is great to see how the different kinds of primates work in battle. One of the things I was most curious about in this movie was how it was going to end. I’m not going to give it away, but just say that it ended a little differently than from what I guessed would happen. While it is a very good ending, it still might not be as epic as the original. By the way, stay seated because there is another scene right after the movie ends.
  While I’m not big on too much story telling, there is something about the ideas behind the Planet of the Apes that really intrigues me. It is why I like the original movies, and why I really enjoyed this one. It is a great story about Caesar that effectively gets the audience emotional involved, while still having some good ape action. There are plenty of references to the original franchise, especially with the use of the ape’s names. Also, while it isn’t perfect, the CGI doesn’t detract from the quality of the movie. With that said, I give this movie an epic 5 pools of blood. And if my word isn’t enough, PETA approves of the movie as well!


Wednesday, August 3, 2011


  When I saw the first preview for this movie I wasn’t too impressed. Yes, I would probably see it, but I wasn’t too excited about it. Then, more previews came out, and something peaked my interest. No, it wasn’t the big name stars, although I like them as actors. Maybe it was curiosity for the aliens, the action scenes, or a combination of the two, but would it be enough for me to like the movie? 
  Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of the desert not knowing who he is. He makes it back to town only to find out that he is a wanted fugitive, and gets arrested. The sheriff locks him up in a wagon with Percy (Paul Dano), a young man with a rich father, to be turned over to the Feds. Just as the transport is about to leave, Woodrow (Harrison Ford), the rich father, arrives to get his son before he is taken away. When he sees Jake, it turns out that he has a score to settle with him. Before that score can be settled, the town has some unexpected visitors… aliens!
  The first half of the movie is really about Jake, as he starts piecing together who he is, and where he is from. The most mysterious thing about him is this unusual metal device attached to his hand. He doesn’t know what it is, and can’t get it off. Almost by accident, he discovers that it is a weapon that comes in handy in fighting the aliens. It is a cool piece of alien technology, and locks onto its target pretty well. It kind of makes me wonder how the aliens didn’t make better use of it, especially when shooting at Jake.
  The aliens take several prisoners when they attack the town. One of them is Percy, which results in Woodrow rounding up a posse to follow a wounded alien into the desert. Jake gets a head start riding off on his own, but is followed by Ella (Olivia Wilde). There is some mystery to her character as well. She seems to know a lot about Jake, and is convinced he knows something that will help them defeat the aliens; that is, besides the fact he is holding the most powerful weapon the cowboys have in the old wild west.
  Once everyone heads out into the desert, it is time to see the cowboys and aliens have a good old western gunfight. I have to say, I’m quite pleased with what the audience gets to see from the aliens. It is somewhat different from what is done in Super 8, and what I was really looking for in Super 8. If you read my Super 8 review, then you know one of my major complaints with the movie is that they didn’t show enough of the creature. I wanted to see more of what it could do, but they did more explaining about the creature instead.
  Cowboys and Aliens is almost the complete opposite. There is some discussion about the aliens, but the audience gets to see plenty of them in action. At first, they are hidden in small aircrafts, but soon enough the audience gets a really good look at one of them. They look like some kind of mutant frog/lizard thing with a particularly unusual pair of arms. They didn’t just rip off the audience by showing the arms once, and then pretend that no one saw them. The creepy arms are shown again, but maybe one more time than necessary.
  While there are some good actions scenes throughout the movie, the ending scene steals the show, as it should. The cowboys and Indians (you knew there couldn’t be cowboys without some Indians) launch an attack on the aliens. This sparks a counter attack by the aliens, in which the audience gets a great look at them in battle. They come down fast to attack the cowboys and Indians. It is kind of surprising how aggressive the aliens get in the movie, even though they don’t show the full extent of what the aliens were doing.
  The scene goes on for a while with plenty of causalities on both sides. My only minor complaint here is that it seems like there were more cowboys and Indians killed than there were at the beginning of the fight. The battle kept resetting itself with the aliens having the advantage some of the time, and then the cowboys and Indians having the advantage. It really didn’t matter how many aliens came out of the ship because the audience never knows just how many aliens there are. No big deal, it just means more fighting, which is fine.
  The combination of aliens, and action turns out to be sufficient for me in this movie. Though, there are some inconsistencies in certain places and the dialogue isn’t fantastic, it wasn’t enough to make me dislike the movie. The aliens are interesting looking creatures, and I was happy that they get plenty of scene time. Whether it is the cowboys fighting amongst themselves, with the Indians, or against the aliens, the action is great. I give this movie 3 pools of blood.


Monday, August 1, 2011


  Last week I said, "I told you so," and I really wanted to say it again. Unfortunately, I can't! Some good things happened and interesting stuff took place, but I wouldn't say anything major happened. I really thought a big event would take place, but it never happened. So here are my thoughts on episode 6, "I Wish I Was the Moon."
   Some of you may say Eric and Sookie being together was the big event, but really? I was looking for something much bigger than that. They have been leading up to Eric and Sookie being together for weeks now. There wasn't a surprise when Bill let Eric go either. Everyone knew Bill wasn't going to kill Eric. It was a nice try at some suspense, but they didn’t fool me.
   What they did fool me with was Father Luis. I didn't catch that he was one of Bill's sheriffs. I never made the connection between him watching over Marnie, and the dream Marnie was having. Did they show him in one of Marnie’s other dreams? I really have to pay closer attention to the characters (right ladies).
   I have to say I'm excited that Marnie finally has her powers, or that a real witch is inside her. It is good to see a real witch at work, and not the one in training. This spirit is definitely not a friend to vampires. I expect her to try to get some major revenge on them. I can’t believe that this spirit has tried this before. That does mean that she failed at least once, so there is some hope for the vampires. I wonder if she will run across any of the other creatures in town.
  Marnie wasn't the only witch that had a spirit possess them. Lafayette also swallowed a spirit in what was probably the weirdest scene of the night. Jesus’ grandpa had that scary mask appear over his face and then the snake bit Jesus. I think "bad things" just happened to them. I just want to know if this is going to help them fight Marnie, or head in the direction of my theory that there will be a good vs. bad witch fight (and I don’t mean against Marnie). By the way, anyone eat goat tongue for breakfast?
   There was no fight between Tara and her girlfriend. Naomi seemed pissed at Tara, but quickly snapped out of it in time to jump her bones. Last year Tara always seemed to be in the middle of things and had a tough time. This season she has been the complete opposite, a real bore. Yea she was there when Eric was put under a spell, and had a moment in the basement of Fangtasia, but nothing like last season. They need to do something major with her storyline. Maybe Pam spiced it up for us.
   That was cool when Pam appeared out of the darkness. I was busy being bored listening to Tara and Naomi, but Pam livened things up. So what do you think happened? Is Tara finally a vampire? I think she might make a pretty cool vampire one day. For now it is more likely that Pam took it out on Naomi. She seems like a good character to just throw away, and that might push Tara in the right direction of doing something important this season.
   One of the surprises of the night was when Tommy turned into Sam. Again, before last week's episode I thought Tommy's character had just about ran it's course. I was ready to write him off, but he is back in the game. Of course he spent less than 24 hours as Sam, and all ready screwed things up. Way to go Tommy! And I totally missed that he could be a skin walker after killing his parents last week. The brothers Merlotte back at each other’s throat, that is if Tommy wakes up of course.
  It wasn’t a surprise that the first time we saw Jason in this episode he was in a BED! How many episodes is it now that he has been in a BED? Sookie is right, it is always about sex when it comes to Jason, but stop with the BED thing already. Can we please go one episode with him not going anywhere near a BED?
  Even though he is always in BED, like I said last week, it is good to have the old Jason back. Serious cop Jason wasn’t much fun. He had several funny moments, and provided most of the comic relief in this episode. It was really funny how Sookie pointed out that the cuffs were useless if he changed into a panther. It was also funny when his happy place turned out to be Jessica’s boobs. Jason even wins my favorite line of the week when he told Sookie, “What do you think that meant, change my kitty litter.” Oh Jason, so funny, but please stay away from Jessica, and your happy place.
  So it is back to two segments for Alcide. Way to hold a wolf down. How about we get him in some more segments so we can get rid of Debbie all ready? She is another pointless character just waiting to be killed off. You know where I’m going with this. No Deb means increased changes of Sookie, but what are we going to do with Eric now? (Ugh!)
  Did the show finally admit they made a mistake with the whole panther thing? In their brief airtime, Alcide and Debbie do away with the theory that you can become a werepanther from a bite. Jason appears to be in the clear, for now at least. While I hope that is the end of the panther thing, I think that is too easy an out for them. Nobody is going to forget all the panther nonsense just like that.
  I guess I will finish up with my new favorite storyline, Arlene’s baby. I just love the mystery behind the baby. I want to know everything about him, and the suspense is starting to eat away at me. I can’t believe he was already outside of the house. Did he really try to kill all of them? I forgot Holly lived next door. Andy mentions her son, so does that mean she really has a son? Again, did we see him at any point last year? Even though they haven’t given any signs that Holly is still involved with the baby, I have my suspicions. I find it strange how Arlene consulted with Holly before, but now they don’t speak about it.
  So I’m sorry if I got your hopes up for this episode. I was expecting a big surprise, and not one that included Eric and Sookie having sex in the forest. If that was a big moment for you, then good, I have nothing to be sorry about. To me, this episode just ended up being another set up episode for most of the storylines. Some interesting things happened, but there were too many moments where people were just talking; Jessica and Jason, Sookie and Jason, and the boring Tara and Naomi just talking, and wasting episode time. We are six episodes in, and can we have more action and less talking please?


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