PORNO REVIEW

 

When five teen employees at the local movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious old film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood. 

Starring: Evan Daves, Larry Saperstein, and Jillian Mueller

Directed by: Keola Racela

Written by: Matt Black and Laurence Vannicelli

   “Porno”…alright start with getting all the jokes, and inappropriate thoughts out of your head. Now we can talk about this film that takes place in a theater. Mr. Pike (Bill Phillips) runs the theater, and tries to do so by including a little religious teachings to his mostly teenage staff. He leaves Chaz (Jillian Mueller) in charge for a few hours while the group gets to hold their private movie night. However, it isn’t so private when an apparently homeless man (Peter Reznikoff) runs wild in the theater.

  Before they get rid of the man, he has opened a mysterious doorway in a wall. The group can’t help but find out what’s hiding back there. A pleasant surprise is waiting for the boys, as they find that they’ve unleashed a very beautiful and barely dressed woman (Katelyn Pearce). While they might have certain ideas about her, this woman has something far more evil in mind. She’s just one of several secrets this theater has been hiding.

  So no, this movie isn’t a ‘porno,’ but does have some nudity if that’s what you’re hoping for. Most of the time, when the audience sees this woman she’s topless, and trying to seduce someone. However, what usually follows is one of man’s biggest nightmares. She brings the pain, and horror for sure. Sex and temptation definitely play a role in this story, and what this woman really is.

  Besides the horror, the teens do their part at making this a fun film. Chaz has a crush on Ricky (Glenn Stott) that creates some awkwardness because he has a secret of his own. More entertaining might be the friendship between Abe (Evan Daves) and Todd (Larry Saperstein). While they're supposed to be moral kids they find it hard to fight their teenage urges. Heavy Metal Jeff (Robbie Tann), who is past his teen years, knows all about urges and fighting them. He does his best to guide the teens, but the temptress isn’t going to make it easy.

  Calling the film “Porno” is clever starting with the easy marketing of the film’s title. However, it becomes a little more interesting with a group of teens who are all hitting that age of urges for sex. It doesn’t help they work at a theater run by someone teaching religion, and doing things the right way. Then along comes an evil nude woman to take advantage of these teens, and squeeze in some real painful moments. It all sets up a bizarre ending that could only fit a movie called “Porno.” With that, I give it 3 pools of blood.

  HorrO

More info about this film at: http://promotehorror.com/2020/11/24/porno-now-playing-on-shudder/

WHERE THE SCARY THINGS ARE EPISODE 72: THE CRUMBS

 

Where The Scary Things Are Episode 72: THE CRUMBS with CHELSEA JURKIEWICZ

We bring back one of our favorite guest, Chelsea Jurkiewicz to talk about her new film The Crumbs available on Amazon Prime. DO YOU HAVE RESERVATIONS??

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SPELL REVIEW

 

A man crash lands in rural Appalachia and awakens in the attic of a traditional Hoodoo practitioner. He desperately tries to break free from her dark magic and save his family from a sinister ritual before the rise of the blood moon.

Starring: Omari Hardwick, Loretta Devine, and Lorraine Burroughs

Directed by: Mark Tonderai

Written by: Kurt Wimmer

Check out the video below and find out how many pools of blood it received.

CRIMINAL AUDTION REVIEW

 

An ex-lawyer and his team run an underworld service, providing fake criminals to take on other people’s crimes. But a new dangerous client turns their world upside down as they face lies, deceit and murder over the course of one night. 

Starring: Luke Kaile, Rich Keebie, and Rebecca Calienda 

Directed by: Samuel Gridley

Written by: Luke Kaile and Samuel Gridley

   Wouldn't it be nice if you could hold a “Criminal Audition,” and have someone commit crimes for you? Ryan (Luke Kaile) already committed a crime, did his time, and collected his paycheck. Now he’s basically the trainer for a new selection of criminals in the making. He works along side William (Rich Keeble) in staging crimes, and they’re looking for the next perfect criminal for a new client. L (Rebecca Calienda), J (Blain Neale), and P (Ben Scheck) are there for the criminal audition ‘of their lives.’

  Actually it turns out to be more like ‘for their lives.’ The new client is Ms M (Noeleen Comiskey) and her associate Morris (Cameron Harris), who decide to hold the auditions their way. They start making examples of the three possible criminals, but not in the way Ryan and William expected. It seems like William is hiding something from Ryan, and so is Ms M and her friend. Will there be a winner of the audition, or even anyone still alive by the end of the night?

  As things set up here, the audience might have to have some patience. They’ll get clued in on who Ryan is, and a little about what he did. It sets up for what they expect for the three new criminals who are there for the audition. There’s some slight humor, but it might feel like a little bit of a slow burn early on.

  However Ms M, and her friend definitely turn things around. Ms M doesn’t act like a new client, but more like the new boss. If anyone doubts that Morris will be more than happy to change their minds. Horror makes an appearance on stage as the three wanna-be criminals start to be disposed of. There’s nothing nice about it, but also not too shocking who survives the longest. 

  The horror is good, but the best thing about this story is the mystery. Ryan is sure that something is up with William, and there probably is. After all, he’s the one who got Ryan started, and set this audition up. Is there something special with the three that want to be criminals? And what’s the deal with Ms M and Morris killing everyone, and the audition? The mystery and questions actually lead to a pretty interesting ending.

  Overall, this audition gets off to a little bit of a slow start. Once the audience gets familiar with what’s going on things will finally get moving. Maybe because they bring the horror to the movie, but Noelene and Cameron certainly stand out. It’s easy to like the bad guys as usual. Full appreciation for what’s happened here will come once all the twists and turns have played out. With that, I give “Criminal Audition” 2.5 pools of blood.

  

  HorrO

More info about this film at: http://promotehorror.com/2020/11/04/criminal-audition-now-available-in-the-uk/

LEAP OF FAITH: WILLIAM FRIEDKIN ON THE EXORCIST REVIEW

A lyrical and spiritual cinematic essay on The Exorcist, Leap of Faith explores the uncharted depths of William Friedkin’s mind’s eye, the nuances of his filmmaking process, and the mysteries of faith and fate that have shaped his life and filmography. The film marks the sixth feature documentary from Philippe (78/52, Memory: The Origins of Alien), continuing his thoughtful analysis of iconic genre films.

Starring: William Friedkin

Directed and written by: Alexandre O. Philippe

   People took a leap of faith and watched “The Exorcist,” and nows it time to take another one and watch “Leap of Faith: William Friedkin on the Exorcist.” In 1973, “The Exorcist” began shocking audiences, and continues to do so with every new generation that dares to watch it. As scary as the movie is, there has also been plenty of stories about the strange happenings while making the film. Those stories certainly add to the film’s legacy, and now this documentary takes a different angle on the film.

  Who better to learn about the making of “The Exorcist” than the man who did it, William Friedkin? In this documentary, the camera is faced squarely at William, as he takes the audience from the beginning to the end of filming the movie. Having to listen to one man talk for over an hour and a half might not sound exciting, but the subject matter makes up for it. Not to mention, being a director, he’s quite the storyteller, and makes the most out of each topic he hits.

  He starts the discussion with how he marked up William Peter Blatty’s novel to create what he wanted, and didn’t want in the movie. He then spends a good amount of time just talking about the beginning of the movie in the desert in Iraq. While some didn’t think that scene was needed, he talks about it’s importance to setting up the story to come, and what Father Merrin is experiencing. As he moves along, he mentions other movies that influenced how he did certain things. The documentary shows clips of these films while he talks about them, and their effect on his movie. 

  He also mentions some of the people he brought on set to help him make the film, and the directions he gave them. Interestingly enough, it seems like finding someone to score the movie was one of his biggest challenges. After all that work to get it right it seems to have turned out well! Another fascinating story is how Jason Miller landed his role as Father Karras. What he doesn’t spend a lot of time talking about is Linda Blair, and working with her. Obviously he touches on some of the scenes involving her, but never goes into too much detail about her.

  William brings it home when talking about the end of the movie. This is where he mentions having to stick to the book, and taking a leap of faith with how things turn out between Father Karras, and the demon. He explains why things turned out how they did, and piecing it together. He sums it up by acknowledging the leap of faith the audience took in seeing the film. 

  Without a doubt, if you’re one of the many fans of “The Exorcist,” then this is a must see for you. And even if you’re a filmmaker looking to get into the mind of a fellow filmmaker, this is a great look at how he went about creating one of the best horror movies out there. The audience will get to see many people, and movies that influenced decisions he made with this film. They’ll learn how certain scenes were filmed, and things that were unintentionally filmed that worked out well for the film. The audience will see what scenes were most important to him, and how he worked to make them happen. I gave hints at a few things learned from this documentary, but there really is plenty more to it. With that, I’ll take the leap of faith, and give “Leap of Faith: William Friedkin on The Exorcist” 3.5 pools of blood.

  

  HorrO

More info about this film at: http://promotehorror.com/2020/11/19/leap-of-faith-william-friedkin-on-the-exorcist-now-on-shudder/

THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW REVIEW

 

Terror grips a small mountain town as bodies are discovered after each full moon. Losing sleep, raising a teenage daughter, and caring for his ailing father, officer Marshall struggles to remind himself there’s no such thing as werewolves.

Starring: Jim Cummings, Riki Lindhome, and Robert Forster

Directed and written by: Jim Cummings 

Check out the video below and find out how many pools of blood it received.

WHERE THE SCARY THINGS ARE EPISODE 71: IT CUTS DEEP

 

Episode 71 It Cuts Deep with Director Nicholas Payne Santos and Charles Gould.

In this episode we take a look at the new movie IT CUTS DEEP with Director Nicholas Payne Santos and comedian/lead actor Charles Gould. A Christmas horror comedy that is a must watch.

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LINGERING REVIEW

 

Seeking support as the guardian of her younger sister, Yoo-mi returns to a small hotel run by a family friend. As bizarre incidents creep up in her mother’s old room, Yoo-mi will have to unravel the supernatural mystery and discover the truth before it’s too late.

Starring: Lee Se-young and Park ji-young

Directed and written by: Yoon Eun-kyoung

  No more “Lingering” over this movie, it's time to get to this review. Yoo-mi (Lee Se-young) seems to be having a hard enough time taking care of herself, and now she’s being asked to take care of her little sister, Yoon Ji-yoo (Park ji-young). Yoon can’t seem to stay in the orphanages she’s sent to after their mom died, so they want Yoo-mi to take her. Since Yoo-mi doesn’t feel like taking on that responsibility she decides to take her sister to stay with one of their mom’s good friends. They call her “Auntie,” and she runs a hotel with a strange past that Yoo-mi is going to learn about.

  Yoo-mi wants to drop off her sister and go, but she ends up staying longer than she wanted. Yoon didn’t want to stay either, but seems to have found an invisible friend. This is just the start of the odd things that Yoo-mi starts to notice. Before she knows it, she’s going to be unlocking secrets that include her family’s past.

  There’s no lingering to start this film, as a young girl is being chased in the woods, and it doesn’t end well. After the introduction to the two sisters, they find themselves driving to the hotel, and Yoo-mi sees something absolutely crazy in her mirror. It’s a moment that might be equally as shocking as a similar car scene in “Hereditary.” That isn’t all the scares, as there’s several more to come in the hotel that’s largely empty.

  While there’s no lingering with the scares, there might have been a little too much lingering in between them. In the beginning half, there’s a lot of focus on the sisters relationship and getting Yoon settled in. That’s expected and fine, but it seems like maybe they spend a little too much time on it. Then in the second half, the story turns to more about their mother, and this woman that’s haunting them. Again the haunting is fine, but Yoo-mi’s investigation into what’s happening slows things down too much.

  The strong point for “Lingering” is definitely the scares. It starts off well especially with what happens in the car, and continues to spread out the scares along the way. However, the scares might be spread out a little too much leaving the audience watching a lot of talking. Maybe if they simply got rid of the police involvement it could have moved fast enough. However, don’t linger on whether to watch this or not because it’s certainly worth it for the scares. With that, I give it 3 pools of blood.

  

  HorrO

More info about this film at:http://promotehorror.com/2020/11/12/lingering-watch-it-today-on-shudder/

WHERE THE SCARY THINGS ARE EPISODE 70: THE DARK AND THE WICKED

 

Where The Scary Things Are Episode 70: THE DARK AND THE WICKED with MICHAEL ABBOTT JR

Michael Abbott Jr joins us to talk about the anticipated horror movie, The Dark and The Wicked.

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THEY REACH REVIEW

 

In 1979, a young girl stumbles upon a possessed tape player. She unknowingly unleashes a demonic entity that haunts her family while slowly dragging the small town of Clarkson to Hell. 

Starring: Mary Madaline Roe, Morgan Chandler, and Eden Campbell

Directed by: Sylas Dall

Written by: Sylas Dall and Bry Troyer

   “They Reach” reaches back a few decades to bring fans another movie similar to “Stranger Things,” “Goonies,” and “Summer of ’84.” This one opens in 1969 with a father and son tandem trying to help a save a possessed child. While the father works to save the child, his son is tasked with recording it. In the end, they don’t save the child, and the recorder basically becomes garage sale material. 

  Now ten years later, a young teen girl named Jessica (Mary Madaline Roe) finds the recorder in a store, and brings it home. She puts it in a mix of stuff she’s using for a science project. While working she accidentally cuts herself, and blood ends up on the recorder. Now that the recorder has had a taste of blood, the evil that hides in it is unleashed on all those who crosses its path. 

  

  Obviously the first place to start with this movie is the young cast. Mary gives a strong performance as the lead. Her character has a lot to overcome, not just the evil, but also the loss of a sibling. Jessica has help from her two best friends, Sam (Morgan Chandler) and Cheddar (Eden Campbell). Being partly a coming of age story, Sam is coming of age as far as his feelings for a girl, and the audience will see him do whatever he can for Jessica. And then there is Cheddar, who from a comedic standpoint steals the show. 

  With young characters there might be the expectation of a more teen friendly story, and it does have some of those elements. However, for those looking for blood to be spilt there’s plenty of it. The evil has no problems doing its worst to the people in this town. Faces are pulled off, heads are lost, and the blood is all over the place. It all leads to an ending that has a choice to be more like the typical teen ending, or follow the brutality that has been shown. No spoilers, you’ll have to watch to see how this story ends.

  At first glance “They Reach” might seem familiar. Young teens being teens until they encounter something sinister. When the evil is unleashed there’s nothing teen friendly about it. Horror fans will be pleased with the surprising amount of blood spilled here. There’s a good story set up, and another strong cast of young actors. With that, I give it 3 pools of blood. 

  HorrO

More info about this film at: http://promotehorror.com/2020/10/15/official-trailer-and-poster-for-they-reach/

MASS HYSTERIA REVIEW

 

A group of salem witch trial reenacts find themselves at the center of a modern day witch hunt.

Starring: Geena Santiago, Jeff Ryan, and Scott Swayze

Directed by: Arielle Cimino and Jeff Ryan

Written by: Jonathan T. Coleman and Christopher O’Connell

   This isn’t the first or last time witches have caused “Mass Hysteria.” Paige (Geena Santiago) is ready to move on from her job as an actress in Salem. She’s played a witch in the reenactment of the Salem Witch Trials for awhile now, and she’s looking at getting a real acting job in New York. Halloween has come, and it’s her last performance. Of course her fellow performers are sad to see her go, but it’s going to be a night to remember.

  Their audience is primarily tourists, and they’ve come to enjoy the show. What they don’t know is that one of them is going to die. During the show, Paige delivers her usual curse, but this time the curse actually works. One of the audience members starts choking, and then dies. This causes a disagreement between the cast and the tourists, and Paige apparently curses them again. When another person dies the tourists decide the witch must go, and all out chaos ensues.

  Right off the bat the audience is going to know this is going to be a funny movie. Paige is walking through town excited to be leaving, and all kinds of hilarious things are happening in the background. Some of them are superstitions being broken, while others are people just being plain stupid. Actually, there aren’t too many really smart people around, which is why this situation goes from bad to worse real quick.

  The tourists are definitely all kinds of dumb, and they aren’t helped when they start following a priest who fuels their desire for revenge against the witch. The action leaves the theater, as the tourists chase the cast all around town. From what started as a play becomes a real life witch hunt. As the cast continues to play hide and seek with the tourists, they also try to figure out why people keep dying. 

  Overall, "Mass Hysteria" will probably keep a smile on your face through most of it, and then squeeze in a few moments where you might fall out of your seat. The storyline is actually pretty creative in turning a theater show about witch trials into a real life one. Fortunately for Paige and her fellow actors the tourists hunting them down aren’t rocket scientists. They put on a nice game of cat and mouse in the streets of Salem before figuring out why everyone started dying. It all comes together with some good performances by everyone involved. No need to put me on trial, as I give this movie 3 pools of blood.

  HorrO

More info about this film at: 

http://promotehorror.com/2020/10/05/mass-hysteria/

BULLETS OF JUSTICE REVIEW

 

In the post-apocalyptic aftermath of World War 3, an army of half-human half-pig super-soldiers takes over the world. It is up to a group of human rebels to destroy them and liberate humankind.

Starring: Danny Trejo, Timur Turisbekov, Yana Marinova, and Dessy Slavova

Directed by: Valeri Milev

Written by: Valeri Milev, and Timur Turisbekov

   “Bullets of Justice” sounds like a title of a very serious movie, but this might just be a movie unlike any other. The world is a very different place after World War 3. Humans are now the minority to a group of half-human half-pig soldiers. Rob Justice (Timur Turisbekov) and his right hand woman Raksha (Doroteya Toleva) are bounty hunters out for revenge on these pigs, and particularly one named Benedict Asshole. 

  Of course getting revenge isn’t easy. Rob is going to have to do battle with pigs, and face some twists and turns along the way. He also has some personal demons to fight along the way. All in hopes to putting an end to the one and only, yes one and only, Benedict Arsehole. 

  

  Besides the pig part this seems like a standard plot. However there’s a lot more going on. There are flashbacks that plague Rob like the one about growing up, and losing his father (Danny Trejo). Another more odd storyline is Rob losing a Mister Universe contest to this guy, and he seriously can’t get over it. 

  Rob is definitely a strange character, but there aren’t many normal people around. There’s something unusual about Raksha that makes it even weirder when they have sex. On a side note, there are a couple of sex scenes mixed all the madness, and not unexpectedly with this story incest. There’s a robot who’s actually pretty funny, and even the leader of the human revolution is far from the kind of leader one who expect.

  

  Hidden in the middle of this unusual story is some really good action scenes. The movie opens up with Rob and his partner taking out some of these pig soldiers. They’re then attacked by the pig version of Boba Fett. There’s another good fight scene in a home that includes a twist, some sex, and humorous moments. And then it all ends with some more good action, and a huge twist that no one could’ve seen coming.

  “Bullets of Justice” is a lot of things including a movie that won’t be for everyone. On the surface it appears to be another action/horror movie. A hero with a sad background faced with taking down evil in the form of mutant pigs and that should be good enough. However, it then meets the calls of fans who want something different and it gives it to them. Unique characters, random sex scenes, unusual dialogue, and again nothing tops that out of nowhere ending. Throw in great action scenes, and it's all good enough to earn 2.5 pools of blood!

  HorrO

More info about this film at: http://promotehorror.com/2020/10/14/bullets-of-justice/