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Friday, September 6, 2019


A pizza delivery girl at the end of her financial rope has to fight for her life - and her tips - when her last order of the night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice.

Starring: Hayley Griffith, Ruby Modine, Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O’ Connell, and Jordan Ladd 

Written by: Ted Geoghegan, and Grady Hendrix

Directed by: Chelsea Stardust

  There’s a lot of things you can eat while watching a horror movie at home like popcorn, candy, or ice cream. Nowadays you can even order from a local restaurant through your app of choice. Of course you can’t go wrong with a good old cheese pizza, but don’t forget to tip your delivery person! After all, you wouldn’t want a delivery girl like Sam (Hayley Griffith) to break into your house, and disturb your movie, or cult meeting!
  “Satanic Panic” gets off on the right foot with a hilarious sequence with Sam trying but failing to get tips on her delivery route. This frustration leads her to make one more delivery that she will never forget. She delivers to a house in a rich neighborhood, and still fails to get a tip. When her vespa doesn’t start she’s had enough, and breaks into the house to demand a tip. Unfortunately for her she’s stumbled upon a cult celebrating a very important date. 
  From here on out the audience is treated to a wild ride at Sam’s expense. The cult needs her in order to summon a demon, and Sam does everything she can to survive the night. She gets help from Judi (Ruby Modine), who isn’t on the cult's good side. While Sam has no clue what’s going on, Judi is well versed in what the cult is up to. The two work together to survive the bizarre attempts by the cult to catch them. 
  The same can’t be said for the cult, as they have a continuous internal battle for leadership between Danica (Rebecca Romijn), and Gypsy (Arden Myrin). Each have their tricks to try and find the girls, but it’s Danica that goes to the extreme on more than one occasion. When you’re looking for the blood and guts in the movie, all you have to do is look for her to supply them! 
  All four of these women shine, and are big reasons this movie is so enjoyable. Rebecca does some crazy things, and does them so smoothly. Arden is great at showing just how desperate her character is to take the reigns from Danica, but just can’t do it. And the pairing of Hayley and Ruby is gold! Hayley is perfect at being so innocent, while Ruby is so amped up and delivers some fantastic lines that couldn’t have been easy to do.
  Along with the great performances, there’s no doubt that the comedy is spot on even with the girls’ lives at stake. They make the most of Sam’s innocence, and put her in some situations that you just can’t help but laugh at. Also, they cleverly tie in some of the things that might seem insignificant, but end up playing a role in Sam’s survival. Even with all the evil intentions the cult has the audience can never take them too seriously. With that said, I give “Satanic Panic” 4 pools of blood, and am off to tip my pizza delivery person!


*Shown at the 5th Annual Popcorn Frights Film Festival

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